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ap calculus homework Part 2 : List of book problems that should be done AFTER you feel confident with the question, problems in part 1. Essay Topics? You will work out these problems on the coversheet with all the problems and will write the answers on application question, the answer line. Help? Show all work. The answers for these WILL NOT BE POSTED . These will be graded on question, right or wrong. These should not be too difficult IF you do part 1 first. You will staple the “cover sheet” to the front of your homework for and disadvantages part 1. Part 3 : AP Style questions based on question, this section. It will be another worksheet/packet that will be multiple choice and free response questions. This will be turned in separate from the book work; do not staple it to the homework from the book. Chicago Turabian? ANSWERS POSTED AFTER COLLECTED. The test is 33 questions in length You can have the passing time to get started Not much room for error if you would like to score a high grade on it Most of this test does not require a calculator, however, I will let you use one of the class inspires. No HP Prime, CAS, or any other calculator will be allowed.

If you do not agree with this, you can take it without a calculator. Any of those calculators can calculate derivatives without a value and for this test, it is expected you do it without the calculator. Okay so here are some tips over the problems to be covered Finding derivatives of inverse trig functions Finding derivatives of application, simple expressions involving trig functions, radicals, and polynomials Related rates problem ( maybe two- Involving pythagoreans theorem, area of circles, etc. None of the complicated ones (not much time)) Derivative of a log or natural log problem Finding slope of a function by how to find a thesis narrative, finding the derivative 1st Determine where the function has a horizontal tangent Given position, know how to find velocity and acceleration Know how to find average velocity over an interval Know how to find a derivative of question, a function and then use a table to find the value of the derivative at that number Find second derivatives Know the difference when parentheses are involved with trig functions and when their not Know your product rule Know your quotient rule Be able to find the derivative of a function using the chain rule AND the quotient rule! Know how to find the derivative of y using implicit differentiation Know your cases when a function is not differentiable Use implicit differentiation to essay, find the slope at a point Be good at question finding the equation of the tangent line at a given point of x-value (find the derivative, find the slope, find the point (if only given x) and then write the equation Know how to find acceleration given velocity and using the quotient rule :) Know how to differentiate e using the chain rule as well Know when a particle changes directions Know how to find when a particle is moving right or left Know how to find the derivative of topics for leaves, a function involving a,b,c etc as constants KNOW ALL DERIVATIVE RULES. Anything covered from this semester is question fair game from section 1.1-3.4 A lot of this exam is based on concepts and skills along with MENTAL math and your ability to work problems out without a calculator; this could be tedious for some but unfortunately, part of the craigslist, rigor to the course. Your exam is loosely based on the exam review. The exam review/weekend review is to help reinforce many of the concepts taught to you but those questions are not everything that was taught to you or were they written like AP questions If you would like an extra 10 minutes for your exam, get to application, class as soon as you can and start the exam during the passing time Every question on in a narrative essay, the exam is a concept, a rule, a fact, that was taught to you at question some point in the course and part 1 english not it is your job to demonstrate mastery of that objective. This exam focuses on two of the three big ideas for Calculus: Limits and question Derivatives. Students must have a solid, intuitive understanding of limits and be able to compute various limits, including one-sided limits, limits at infinity, and infinite limits.

They should be able to work with tables and graphs in order to estimate the limit of a function at dante alighieri a point. Students should know the algebraic properties of limits and techniques for finding limits of indeterminate forms, and they should be able to apply limits to understand the behavior of a function near a point. Students must also understand how limits are used to determine continuity, a fundamental property of functions. Using derivatives to describe the rate of change of one variable with respect to another variable allows students to application, understand change in a variety of contexts. In AP Calculus, students build the derivative using the concept of limits and on mobile phones and disadvantages use the derivative primarily to compute the instantaneous rate of change of a function. Applications of the derivative include finding the slope of a tangent line to a graph at a point, analyzing the question, graph of chicago style, a function (for example, determining whether a function is increasing or decreasing and application question finding concavity and extreme values), and solving problems involving rectilinear motion.

Students should be able to use different definitions of the derivative, estimate derivatives from tables and graphs, and apply various derivative rules and properties. In addition, students should be able to apply the Mean Value Theorem, and be familiar with a variety of real-world applications, including related rates. These two paragraphs summarize what you can expect to find on the exam. Finding derivatives, slope, tangent and normal lines will be huge. Finding limits of all types and limits involving L'Hopitals Rule. All derivative rules are fair game.

Continuity questions and the 3 requirements for continuity to exist. Position, velocity, and acceleration concepts. Different notations for derivatives will be used and higher order derivatives will be asked of you to find. Know the topics for leaves, difference in application graphs from f, f', and turabian style f''. Know how to use process of question, elimination in your answers to save you some time on the mc section! Know the different types of discontinuity. Know how to class craigslist, find extrema and question do the math by hand with fractions! Know how to class help, use the first derivative test and find where a fxn is increasing and decreasing. Know how to use the second derivative test and finding intervals of concavity, points of inflection, and using the 2nd derivative test sometimes to question, find extrema.

Also know the Mean Value Theorem. Know how to find limits by hand with no calculator and alighieri essay when none of the tricks, including LHopitals Rule doesnt work. Know when a derivative is undefined. Application Question? Know how to find horizontal asymptotes and the tricks to finding them. Know how to essay phones advantages and disadvantages, use implicit differentiation and know how to solve a related rates problem. Application? The exam is broken up into four parts. Final exam review ( you are welcome- a few points of the exam come from the weekend review and yes, it is graded) Multiple choice with a calculator (9 questions long) Free Response Questions No Calculator (2 questions each in b.com part 1 english essay parts) Multiple choice with NO CALCULATOR (40 questions) 2. I would give yourself no longer than an hour for the two calculator portions.

I would save at least an hour for the 40 question no calculator section. If you don't know how to start the application, problem in about 30 seconds, skip it and come back to it.

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resume monarchical NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF US INDEPENDENCE. NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE (2000) The Revocation of Indpendence as executed by Alan Baxter Peter Rieden, 8 th Nov 2000, apparently inspired by an email sent by Dan Fox (who claims to be the ultimate originator) or Kevin O'Connor (who also claims to be the ultimate originator). This version was compiled 21 st Nov 2000, compiled from several different versions. Early drafts, showing how it grew, are further down. Responses and application question, related pieces are also included further down. Important note: The Revocation of Independence is part, NOT by John Cleese. During 2005, a version was wrongly attributed to him and was circulated crediting Cleese as the question author. He did not write it. It was present on Usenet and the Internet long before his name became associated with it.

To the citizens of the online class help United States of application question America, In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the chicago style revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is application question, a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for find a thesis narrative, America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. Application Question! To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Then look up aluminium. B.com Part 1 English! Check the pronunciation guide. Application! You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and and disadvantages, 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Application Question! Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the essay of grass letters. Question! You will end your love affair with the chicago style letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix ize will be replaced by application, the suffix ise. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh.

You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to how to find a thesis in a essay, acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as like and application, you know is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. Essay Topics For Leaves! There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to question, use bad language as often. 2. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to topics for leaves, take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in application, Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about essay topics, regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire. 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters.

British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and application, watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness. 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen, but only after fully carrying out task 1. Bibliography Style! We would not want you to get confused and application, give up half way through. 6. On Mobile Phones And Disadvantages! You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to application, play it, and should instead play proper football. Help! Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is application question, similar to b.com part, American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). Application! We are hoping to get together at dante alighieri essay, least a US rugby sevens side by application, 2005.

You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for online class, a game which is not played outside of America. Since only application question, 2.15% of alighieri you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is question, understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to how to narrative, play a girls' game called rounders which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs. 7. Question! You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. Annotated Turabian! The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky.

The Russians have never been the bad guys. Merde is French for 5hit. Question! You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to essay for leaves of grass, carry a vegetable peeler in question, public. 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in online help craigslist, England. It will be called Indecisive Day. 9. Question! All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and help, it is for your own good. Application! When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of online class craigslist conversion tables. Roundabouts and application question, metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. 10. You will learn to make real chips.

Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of online class help a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. Application! The traditional accompaniment to chips is bibliography turabian style, beer which should be served warm and application, flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of how to a thesis in a essay sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the application Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to in a, be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself. 14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to application, be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. Dante Alighieri Essay Topics! If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun. 15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for question, your cooperation. (2000) ALAN BAXTER'S NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. From a company Intranet newsgroup and read: London, 8th November 2000. To the citizens of the United States of America, 2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of essay topics of grass God save the Queen 3. Start referring to soccer as football. 4. Question! Declare war on Quebec. (2000) PETER RIEDEN'S NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE.

The following is the text of a message which was communicated to class help craigslist, President Clinton at 07:30 (EST) today: To the citizens of the question United States of online class craigslist America from Her Britannic Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II. USANIAN FORM OF 15 POINT NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. November 8, 2000. To the Subjects of question Her Majesty, the Queen of England, To the citizens of the United States of America: In light of your failure to how to find in a, elect anybody as President of the USA, and thus to govern yourselves and, by extension, the free world, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Application Question! Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories including New Jersey. To aid in annotated bibliography chicago style, the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply with the following acts: 1. Look up revocation in the now official Oxford Dictionary.

Start spelling English words correctly. 2. Learn at least the first four lines of God Save The Queen. 3. Start referring to soccer as football. 4. Declare war on question, Quebec and France. 5. Alighieri! Arrest Mel Gibson for treason. 6. Close down the National Football League. Learn to play rugby.

7. Enjoy warm, flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. 8. Train waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to application, tell you their names before you eat. 9. July 4th is no longer a public holiday; this has been replaced with Nov. 5. 10. All members of this British Crown Dependency will be required to take six weeks annual vacation and observe statutory tea breaks. 11. Driving on the left side of the road is now compulsory. Recall all vehicles to effect the change immediately. 12. A Thesis In A Narrative! Report to our Consulate General in New York for your new passport and question, job allocation.

13. Have Meg Ryan report to Prince Andrew's bedchamber. 14. Add the royal insignia to annotated bibliography chicago style, the top of the Washington Monument and the Queen's Christmas speeches to application, the Lincoln Memorial. 15. Stop referring to the World Series of dante essay topics Baseball and instead call it the National Series of USA, Cuba and Japan.

Tax collectors from question Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the essay topics for leaves of grass acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776). Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day. (2000) REPLY TO THE NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. November 8, 2000. To the Subjects of Her Majesty, the application Queen of England, In the light of your failure to a thesis in a essay, prevent us from kicking you out in application question, the 18th century and doing as we damn well please, we hereby notify you that you can keep it down over and disadvantages there before we take notice. Sure, historically America really doesn't pay much attention to the rest of the world. But when someone does catch our eye, we tend to carpet bomb them to application, a pre-industrial state.

It may not be right, or fair, but it is a trend. I suggest you keep it in mind. To aid in dante essay, your realization that you should pipe down, the question following facts are listed: 1. American English is distinct from British English. Online Class Craigslist! Our aluminum is a lovely silver color, and we do not 'armour' our tanks, thank you. 2. Application! When you can tell the difference between an how to a thesis narrative essay Alabama and Louisiana accent, I'll pay attention to the difference between a Londoner's and question, a Yorkshireman's accents. 3. Rather than God save the Queen; you should learn The Battle Hymn of the annotated bibliography chicago turabian style Republic.

After all, if it weren't for American soldiers you'd speak German today, twice over. And if it weren't for application, American bread, butter, etc., you would have been starving while we saved your little old island from the dante essay topics Hun. 4. If I were to throw an American football block on football player, he'd be out of the game and I'd be ejected. Question! If I were to throw a real tackle on a rugby player, he'd be maimed. The pads in online class help, American football are to keep you from being crippled or killed.

Just because rugby players tear their ears in a group hug called a 'scrum'doesn't make them tough. You want tough? You put YOUR arms in question, theair while a 322 pound (46 stone) man slams into you at a dead sprint and still catch the online help ball. Question! That's tough. 5. If you can't settle the French's hash, find someone else. After all, they have lost to everyone *but* the online class craigslist British this century.

6. The irony of question a Brit complaining about online, American cars is too much. Question! I've driven British cars and they're like a Hyundai, but poorly made. When someone else comes up with an idea as good as the muscle car, we'll think about find in a essay, it. To sum it all up, we really aren't interested in your opinion. Another immediate response from the US mentioned something about a large shipment of application Tea (the Boston Tea Party for topics, those not required to application question, study US history). Class! Then there was this . The Supreme Court of Florida has instructed me to post the following to ensure strict balance in these turbulent times.

DECLARATION OF ANNEXING THE BRITISH ISLES AS PART OF THE USA. To the imperialist British colonizers. In the light of your indecision over joining a common European Currency, your dissatisfaction with the European Union, your bickering with European Governments and the fact that you already almost speak our language and application, refuse to speak any other European languages, you are to be annexed as a State of America. Your state code will be GB. B.com Essay! Zip codes will be assigned to question, replace your old postal districts. The state capital will be Stratford-upon-Avon which is annotated bibliography chicago style, a lot prettier than London. Application Question! Princess Diana will be declared a saint. You have already assimilated so much American culture that you are unlikely to notice the transition. To aid in the assimilation, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. Look up aluminum in any good American Dictionary. Check the spelling and pronunciation guide. We discovered it, we named it, you are mispronouncing it. Learn to live with it. You are, of course welcome to your idiosyncratic and illogical place-names such as Edinburgh, if you wanted it pronounced 'Eddinburra' you have spelled it that way in the first place. Dante Essay Topics! You will quit using words such as fortnight. The correct term is a two week period.

You will learn words such as credenza, intern and chad. 2. Question! There is essay, no such thing as UK English. UK English is the relic of a defunct colonialist power which attempted to impose British English linguistic superiority on a nation which has a higher number of English speakers. 3. Application Question! Your film-makers should learn to distinguish the American and how to a thesis in a narrative essay, Canadian accents. American accents are not limited to redneck drawls or New York accents. Mainland Americans have more than enough accents to cope with in our own country, so all British dramas will now bear subtitles, especially those made in impenetrable dialects such as Scottish, Scouse or Geordie. To make life easier for mainland America, all British films and application question, TV programs must use American vocabulary and how to find a thesis essay, accents; Scotch characters will wear plaid, Irish characters will have shamrocks on them, Welsh characters will not be used since we don't have Welsh Americans, and English characters will wear bowler hats and pinstripes. 4. The British film industry will no longer portray all Americans as cowboys, rednecks, trailer trash or Beverly Hills billionaires. Hollywood will continue to use Mockney and Posh British accents as this makes it easier for viewers to question, identify which characters are British. You can have Hugh Grant back.

He's a lousy actor and we don't want him either. All British films will be made in Hollywood where the topics for leaves weather and application, scenery are better. Your film industry is already unable to make a halfway-decent film which doesn't contain a American in the starring role. All American characters should be 'good guys'. 5. Annotated Chicago! You will learn your new national anthem The Star Spangled Banner.

It shall be sung every morning at kindergarten, high school, university and application, your places of work. Your Union Flag will be hung up any damn way we wish so stop bitching about it being upside down. If there was meant to a thesis narrative, be a right way up you should have made it simpler. All Union flags will be replaced by the Stars and application, Stripes over a 12 month period of time. 6. You should stop playing soccer and rugby. There is no need to have two games, one of which is topics of grass, confusingly like Football and one of which is called football but patently isn't real football. If it doesn't require 45 pounds of padding, it isn't football.

You should also stop playing cricket. Americans can't understand the rules. If you insist on playing this game which is only played by former British colonies, you will introduce a simplified scoring system, timeouts, colored strips and cheerleaders to make it more interesting. Any match which takes longer than 90 minutes will be declared a draw. 7. In films, as in real life, we decide who the bad guys are.

The bad guys are those guys who don't do as we tell them. They are also the application guys who attract the biggest audiences into movie theaters. You will cease using the dante alighieri word cinema. They are movie theaters. The snippets of application forthcoming films are not trailers they are teasers. 8. Essay On Mobile! November 5 th is no longer a day for fireworks. July 4th is the appropriate fireworks festival. If you want a big fireworks party on November 5 th , we will help you to blow up your Houses of Parliament.

You won't be needing them any longer; Disneyland London will be situated there. Hunting with packs of dogs is also banned. Application! Instead, you will go hunting with a pick-up truck, some six-packs of beer, two coonhounds and enough guns and ammo to equip a private militia. Craigslist! There is also no such activity as caravanning. It is properly called camping. The thing boy scouts do with tents and application, bedrolls is called tenting. 9. Roundabouts will be banned.

What is the point of turning left in order to find in a narrative, turn right? They are confusing to application question, Americans and are death traps. For Leaves! You will start driving on the right with immediate effect. Most of the world drives on the right already. You will be allowed to turn right on a red light if safe to do so though you must check local county legislation as this is question, not permitted in all areas. 10. Those things which you call chips are cholesterol-soaked abominations. You will start to eat fries - light fluffy potato in crisp coating. If you want to eat British-style fried potato sticks you will need a certificate from a thesis in a your doctor and good medical insurance. Beer is to be served cold.

The warm, flat drink you call beer is properly termed 'ale' and question, the FDA have determined it to be unfit for human consumption. How To A Thesis! You will also learn the difference between crackers, cookies and biscuits to avoid causing unnecessary confusion to question, mainland Americans. 11. All inter-personal communications between family members, even if resident in the same house, must be through a lawyer. It is compulsory to sue somebody at least once per online help craigslist year - be inventive. It is compulsory to have therapy three times each week and to recover false memories of your childhood which allow you to sue your parents and/or your therapist. Therapy will take the place of speaking to family members. You will be given compulsory courses on how to become dysfunctional.

Name your children after interesting medical conditions. 12. You will not have guns. In the application eyes of Mainland Americans you are wayward children. Children are not permitted to how to find in a narrative essay, play with firearms unless they have a legitimate reason to do so i.e. they plan to gun down the population of a small town (self-defense) or slaughter every living creature within a mile radius (hunting). Thank you for your co-operation. You will be assimilated.

Footnote: Resistance is futile. Just ask Hawaii. By the way, Ireland and Scotland should be separate states. They have entirely different cultures and languages from the application question Norman fops. To avoid supporting third world countries and welfare states (the reason for NOT annexing Mexico), Canada, Australia, New Zealand, should become independent nations. The Falkland Islands should become an American Protectorate like Puerto Rico, Samoa, The Philippines, Guam and other places that are neat to vacation. America should take back Hong Kong immediately. TO THE CITIZENS OF THE UNITED KINGDOM OF GREAT BRITAIN AND NORTHERN IRELAND:

We welcome your concern about our electoral process. It must be exciting for you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. Find In A Essay! As always we're amused by question, your quaint belief that you're actually a world power. The sun never sets on the British Empire! Right-o chum!

However, we regretfully have to decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to enforce your new policy (for the alighieri 96.3% of application you that seem to have forgotten that you have little to how to find in a essay, no real power). After much deliberation, we have decided to continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. Application Question! It seems that switching to a monarchy is in fact considered a backwards step by dante alighieri, the majority of the world. To help you rise from your current anachronistic status, we have compiled a series of helpful suggestions that we hope you adopt:

1. Realize that language is an organic structure, and question, that you aren't always correct in your pronunciation or spelling. Let's use your aluminium example. Class Help Craigslist! Sir Humphrey Davy (an Englishman) invented the name aluminum (note spelling) for the metal. However, in question, common usage the name evolved into aluminium to match the naming convention of other elements. In 1925 the United States decided to online class help craigslist, switch back to question, the original spelling and pronunciation of the dante alighieri essay word, at which point we dominated the aluminum industry. We'd also like to point out that the process of actually producing aluminum was developed by an American and a Frenchman (not an Englishman). However, we'd like to application, thank you for the Oxford English Dictionary. A Thesis Narrative Essay! It's an interesting collection, considering that over 10,000 of the application words in the original edition were submitted by a crazy American civil-war veteran called Dr. William Charles Minor. 2. Learn to dante alighieri essay, distinguish the American and Canadian accents, and then we'll talk about the English and application, Australian accent issue. 3. Review your basic arithmetic. (Hint 100 - 98.85 = 1.15 and how to, 100 - 97.85 = 2.15)

4. If you want English actors as good guys, then make your own movies. Don't rely on us for your modern popular culture. We liked Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Trainspotting, and The Full Monty. Question! We've also heard good things about this Billy Elliot. Online Class Help! But one good movie a year doesn't exactly make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing pretty well with music, so keep up the good work on application, that front. 5. It's inefficient to have a national anthem that changes its title whenever your monarch dies. Let's not forget that your national anthem has an extremely boring tune. We suggest switching to that Rule Brittania ditty, it's toetapping. Or maybe Elton John could adapt Candle In The Wind again for you guys.

6. Improve at annotated bibliography turabian, your national sport. Football? Soccer? This just in: United States gets fourth place in men's soccer at the 2000 Summer Olympics. United Kingdom? Not even close. Question! By the way, impressive showing at Euro 2000. Bibliography Chicago Turabian! You almost managed to get through the tournament without having your fans start an international incident. 7. Learn how to cook. England has some top notch candy. Question! Salt 'n' Vinegar chips are quite yummy.

However, there's a reason why the best food in your country is Indian or Chinese. Your contributions to the culinary arts are soggy beans, warm beer, and spotted dick. Perhaps when you finally realize the how to French aren't the spawn of question Satan they'll teach you how to online class, cook. 8. You're doing a terrible job at understanding cars. The obvious error is that you drive on the wrong side of the road. A second problem is pricing, it's cheaper to buy a car in Belgium and ship it to England than to buy a car in England. On the question other hand, we like Jaguars and Aston Martins. That's why we bought the online help craigslist companies. 9. We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize for Teletubbies. Thank you for application question, your time. You can now return to watching bad Australian soap operas.

PS: regarding WW2: You're Welcome. BILL CLINTON'S LETTER TO LIZ WINDSOR. The following was received from essay David Simpson of Fletcher Greenwood Co. Application Question! I received it on 21st Dec 2000 in annotated chicago, response to this history, but it is dated 13th November. FROM: Bill Clinton. TO: Her Britannic Majesty Queen Elisabeth II. SUBJECT: Revocation of American Independence. DATE: November 13th 2000.

Ole George, Your Great Great Great Great Great Great Grand Pappy said we'd screw up over here in the Colonies and it's finally happened. This time it's got nothin to do with me, at least that's what my advisors say. I have really tried to stay outta the application question news and away from the babes to help Gore but he's no Goddamn use anyhow. He screwed up by himself this time. Of Grass! We'd agreed those ballot papers in application question, Palm Beach cos we were tryin to 1 english essay, confuse the hell outta the Republican voters. Guess that one back fired. So, 'bout this notice sent out sayin' you're reclaimin the question colonies and takin over, well, we kinda feel it's cute you'd wanna have us back after all this time. One concern though, 'bout those back taxes, we need time to pay. Essay! Pretty soon I aint gonna have a job. I know Hillary' got a well-paid position now but she won't wanna have much to do with me soon. She's still mad at me 'bout Monica.

Every time I light a cigar she still cries and throws stuff. As for the national anthem. Application Question! Well I was kinda wondrin if you'd let me play it on the Saxhorn for you sometime, it's been a while since I've had a good blow, but I'm practicing an' hopin'. Had a word with the how to in a narrative boys at the Pentagon 'bout nukin France and Quebec. Question! They said it'd be no problem but are kinda worried the EU might renegade on the banana deal we worked out through the WTO. Also said somethin about a nuclear winter but guess it's close enough to Christmas for a bitta snow anyhow. You know Liz, one of the bibliography turabian requests does kinda suck. Application Question! We like our football and the advertising guys are hoppin mad about the possible loss of income. They say soccer, sorry football don't have enough breaks to fill it up with advertisements and dante alighieri essay, that folk'll get bored. I gotta agree on this one Liz, for the sake of the American people, sorry, new British Subjects, I gotta stand my ground here. Anyhow, gotta go blow the horn with Monica and get learnin' this new tune.

Oh one more thang, don't suppose Tony could give me a job could he? DECLARATION OF THE COMMONWEALTH OF AUSTRALIA ON TAKING CHARGE OF THE AFFAIRS OF THE ENGLISH SPEAKING PEOPLES. The following announcement was found in a corrugated iron outhouse West of Alice Springs -- some fecal matter has been removed but the text is question, still fairly clear, despite the beer stains. When, in the course of human events, it becomes clear that major powers have turned into circus acts, it becomes necessary for alighieri, somebody to sort out the ensuing shambles. We won't even mention politics, just an internationally accepted yardstick for question, national ability, the Olympic Games.

Since the USA can't organize an 1 english essay Olympic Games without making a shambles of the business, and since the UK hasn't had a competitive Olympic team since 1908, then Australia has an overriding claim to national superiority. It remains true, of course, the US Olympic team won the question most medals in the last games, whilst Australia came fourth, but that only proved that on how to in a, a population basis it takes eight times as many Septic Tanks to win an application Olympic gold medal as it takes Australians. It therefore becomes Australia's duty to take charge of those nations who still know where their barbecues are kept. Washington and b.com part 1 english, London will now take their guidance from application question Canberra. Style! Canberra used to be an excellent cow paddock but became the application question site of the political capital of Australia, which means there's far more bullshit there now than there ever was before. An address will be provided to those that need to find, communicate with the Australian government: one side of question a postcard only dante, please, and replies can be expected within a year or so. In the meantime, please obey God's eleventh Commandment to the Aboriginals: don't do a thing until I get back to you. Political lobbyists will need to bring their own swags, billies and bush tucker until extra accommodation can be provided. Question! (See below: Waltzing Matilda). Visitors can also expect to find themselves being sprayed with insecticide by customs officials when arriving on Australian soil.

As a courtesy to incoming guests we always provide the first layer of fly repellent free of charge. The other sixty five daily applications are your responsibility. You have our permission to say the dante alighieri essay word 'aluminum' any way you wish. Since Australia is the world's largest supplier of bauxite we don't give a shit what you call it, just as long as you keep making the stuff. Place names in all English speaking countries from application now on class craigslist, should be clear, simple and straightforward for all English speakers. Please write for application question, an advisory leaflet from the essay of grass Australian Centre for Sensible Place Names, Rabbitflats House, Rum Corp Road, Woolloomooloo, Sydney, New South Wales. Americans should be aware that a Chad is a traditional UK/Australian cartoon character. He has a big nose, a single strand of curly hair and is always drawn with only the upper half of his face visible over a brick wall.

Equally traditionally, Chad is question, always saying: Wot! No . Only the last word is altered to suit the bibliography turabian style occasion. Application! At present, of course, the inscription would read: Wot! No President? A piece of paper punched out of a ballot paper is annotated, technically known internationally as shit-for-brains, since everybody else in application, the world has a population which is capable of drawing an X on a ballot paper. Only laboratory monkeys and American voters make decisions by hanging on handles. However the incoming Australian administration doesn't want to make too many radical changes. Annotated Chicago Turabian Style! Simply be aware that in future the application US and UK will be required to follow Australian voting procedures and that from now on it is a criminal offence for a citizen not to vote.

Or at least it's an offence not to for leaves, attend a voting station. What you do in the booth is up to you. But at least there's no need to spend any more time and money in trying to question, persuade voters to turn out. We, in turn, will abandon the proportional representation system. This system of voting was invented by the British mathematician who also wrote Alice In Wonderland. Not surprisingly, the essay results are always a Mad Hatter's Tea Party. We have no intention of altering anybody else's variety of English, though personally, I'm agog to know how you meet with somebody.

Either you meet them or you don't. Application! There are of course cultural differences to be bridged but they can be done so profitably. For example, street kids in online craigslist, the US who deserve jail terms will instead be compelled to watch a four day cricket match and to question, answer questions afterwards: our own juvenile delinquents will be forced to watch the entire collection of Letterman shows and then to try to explain why the annotated bibliography audiences laughed at any part of them. The Australian Minister for Culture has ordered that from application now on all Hollywood films have Australian directors. Annotated Bibliography! Furthermore, they must also be joint Anglo-American productions, as that seems to be what it takes to make a decent movie nowadays. Application Question! Notting Hill and Shakespeare in b.com 1 english, Love for example. Application! We also demand a re-make of Dr Strangelove starring Bruce Willis: the highlight of the film is going to be when he gets dropped out of a B-52 riding on top of a nuclear bomb. Only this time it's going to be a real A-bomb and no stuntmen allowed: now die hard, you untalented prick! Oh yes, and all films are to be shot in Australia, where we have the sort of weather California thinks it has. We also have the best of everything else, including women, and at half the price in the States. Chicago Turabian Style! The Australian film industry also wants Mel Gibson back -- we're going to put him out to stud.

There is no need to change your national flags. All that is required is that you fly them below a pair of Elle McPherson's knickers, preferably used. The new international anthem, of course, is Waltzing Matilda. As you are aware, all other national anthems are about the superiority of one country over all other countries. Waltzing Matilda is about a sheep thief getting caught by the cops. Question! It is therefore an anthem to private capitalism and stock option dealings in a marginal legal situation: Wall Street and the London Stock Exchange should both be proud to sing it out topics of grass loudly every morning. From now on the only code of football which will be allowed in international matches is Australian Rules Football.

American football looks like a bunch of panic stricken plane handlers fighting to get off the deck of a sinking aircraft carrier: UK football looks like a gang of kids trying to pass the application time in the yard of a school for the mentally retarded. Australian rules football is the game the bibliography chicago style angels play: it's where the big men fly. Please be aware that in Australian English, to 'root' for a team means to have sexual intercourse for it, or with it. We're not trying to stop you from doing anything you want to, just making sure you understand your options. Gay males should also be aware that scoring a behind in Aussie Rules is not what you might have hoped it was. After some considerable thought it has been decided to retain the Monarchy to rule over application question the English speaking world, but to make it more relevant to the present realities. Bill Gates will therefore be crowned King Geek The First. Hell, he owns most everything, so we might as well make it official. There's no point in building him a palace as he already lives in one, so Buckingham Palace will be turned into essay advantages, a backpacker's hostel for young Australians visiting the Former UK -- or Fukland, as it will have to be renamed. The House of Commons will be required to spend one day a week picking up empty beer cans from the application question Palace Gardens. Which means we'll get at least one day's useful work every week out of the sods.

Of course it's not interesting to have a King as dull as Bill I without any drama being injected into online craigslist, the Court. So he'll need a Vizier, just like in the Arabian Nights' Stories, as evil as Viziers traditionally are, a mendacious, cunning, word twisting, untruth telling Vizier, a duplicitous dog of a Vizier, a Vizier whose instincts are wolfish, savage, bloody, ravenous and starved. Rupert Murdoch has been approved by question, Australian central casting for the part. The duties of Vice Vizier are to online help craigslist, be carried out by question, Homer Simpson. True, he's a cartoon character, but cartoon characters have been installed in the US Vice President's Office for years and only Gary Trudeau noticed. Dante Alighieri Essay! You will be advised in due course whether King Geek II will be a carbon or silicon based lifeform. The question of which side of the road to drive on has been settled fairly. From midnight to twelve, it's on question, the right, from twelve to online, midnight it's on the left, and application, every alternative Thursday when there's a 'r' in the month and a full moon you can drive during the hours of alighieri essay darkness directly along the top of any white line you fancy.

If in doubt, please contact Robert Hughes, the well known Australian art critic and road safety expert. Unfortunately, but in line with world opinion, we are going to question, have to insist on the cessation of capital punishment for criminals. Bibliography Turabian! However, we are prepared to strap offenders to an electric chair and force them to application question, eat a Vegemite sandwich: if they decide they'd rather have the current turned on of grass, instead that's their choice. Vegemite is question, technically a yeast extract but to non-Australians tastes something like what your great grandparents might do if you dug them up, scraped some of the residue off the coffin walls and put it between two slices of bread. But although consuming Vegemite is not compulsory, all non-Australian citizens will be required to eat shark in their fish and chips. Except for lawyers, who are excused on the grounds of professional courtesy. Of course all non-Australian beer is to be immediately poured away down drains and replaced with real beer: beer as cold as liquid oxygen, beer with more punch than Mike Tyson, beer which biteth like a serpent and stingeth like an narrative essay adder, beer you can taste three blocks away from the pub. Application Question! All the Milwaukee slops can go back into the barmaid's apron they were squeezed out of and as for British beer . Some dissension has arisen over cultural festivals and when is a suitable holiday to let off fireworks. Since we have no such days on our own calendar we Aussies have decided the best thing to do is to hand Northern Ireland over to the US as the 51st state.

After all, Washington seems so interested in getting a peace deal there that it might as well have the place. The idea is that the British get to let off their fireworks when the last British soldiers leave Ireland, and the Irish factions will supply the part US Peace Keeping forces with fireworks enough thereafter. Of course there are arguments that America is too powerful and too rich have any outside system imposed on her, and also that Americans are too proud to truckle to question, any kind of a King. These arguments are, of course, specious. Too powerful? kicked out of Southern Vietnam, bombed out essay topics of the Lebanon, self defeated at question, Desert One, ejected of Ethiopia, not quite up to find in a essay, snuff for a ground war in Kosova, unfortunately unavailable for East Timor, scuttled by a rowing boat. What's the matter, can't you find somebody your own size? Or are you saving up the US Army to application question, stand guard along the Tex-Mex border as part of Dubya's new approach to foreign policy? Too rich? Don't like Kings? Well, there's one monarchy the annotated bibliography chicago turabian style Americans will always fight for and that's the Saudi one. And everybody in the West knows why.

If Saudi Arabia stopped selling oil the CLOSED signs would go up on gas stations right across the application states and the West would have an economic down turn which would make the 1930's Depression look like just a bad day at the office. Which is the real reason why Australians are desperate to see this Presidential farce settled. Look, our Prime Minister is 1 english, not exactly a charismatic super star. Question! He could get lost in a crowd of two. Our Leader of the Opposition looks like a stranded whale in a suit. But they're both smart enough to online help craigslist, know that if the US keeps on supporting Israel in the Jews' totally ruthless suppression of the Palestinians there's eventually going to be a reaction from the Arab masses. The day that Omar Bin Laden becomes the question President of the Peoples' Democratic Republic of Saudi Arabia is a day nobody in the West wants to see. But unless somebody can rein those Israeli imperialists in there will be a revolution in the Arab countries and Allah alone knows who'll be in charge when the smoke clears. Right now we need somebody in the Western world who'll give the Jews the straight news: you want to fight the b.com 1 english entire Muslin world, you do it on question, your own.

We don't know you, we're not subsidizing your army, and online class craigslist, we're not going to question, risk our oil supplies to essay topics of grass, keep the question Jewish voters in the United States happy. But that's not a message that Gore or Bush would ever dare deliver -- not until it's too late. But they're all that we've got, and we haven't even got one of them yet. No wonder everybody else in the West is screaming in frustration. The Americans will still be squabbling away in the courts over a bunch of geriatric generated votes until the essay streets of question enemy occupied Palestine are filled with dead Arabs -- and when somebody lets off a suitcase nuclear bomb somewhere in dante alighieri, revenge the only response from application Washington will be more brainless screams of outrage about terrorism. As far as I can see President Clinton has made honourable efforts to avert a looming disaster in the Middle East. But now the b.com Ringmaster is leaving and question, all we've got left are two clowns taking turns at kicking each other's butts. America and the world needs better, much better, than America has been able to come up with this time around. And now it looks as if everything which has made the US a great country is going to be dragged through the filth of the courts by bibliography turabian, a bunch of low life lawyers. (2000) NEW ZEALAND VERSION OF THE NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. This version, giving the USA to the Maori people, circulated on 20th November 2000.

To the citizens of the United States of America: In the question light of your failure to elect a President and thus to govern yourselves properly, Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has revoked your independence, effective immediately. However, she will not govern you herself because the Maori of New Zealand have claimed ownership of the USA. How To A Thesis In A! There is ample evidence that Maui discovered America after setting out from the ancestral homeland, Hawaiiki, in the wrong direction. Under the Treaty of Waitangi all Maori land that was illegally taken by the Crown will revert to Maori ownership. Ngai Tahu will resume administrative responsibility for all states except Florida, which they do not fancy.

Your new governor, Sir Tipene Oregan, will appoint a ministers to look after your affairs without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to an Aotearoa-New Zealand Dependency, the application following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide.

You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the alighieri essay topics same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as like and you know is an application question unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. 2. Essay! There is application question, no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. 3. You should learn to distinguish the New Zealand and Australian accents.

It really isn't that hard. 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast Russell Crowe and Tem Morrison as good guys. 5. You should relearn your new national anthem, God Defend New Zealand in part essay, English and Maori, but only after fully carrying out task 1. Question! We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through. 6. All MacDonalds and Burger King outlets will be closed down, and you will purchase fush and chups, but only essay on mobile advantages and disadvantages, when you can pronounce them properly. 7. Any whales stranded on beaches will be the property of Ngai Tahu, and Sir Tipene must be notified immediately. 8. You will stop playing American football. Application Question! It is a dreadful game. The 2.15% of online class help you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football ie. rugby, which is similar to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full body armour like poofters. Initially, it would be best if you played in application, the women's competition. It is a difficult game, but with training you should be able to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

9. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. 10. July 4th will no longer be a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, called Indecision Day. 11. Essay On Mobile Phones And Disadvantages! All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you Holdens, you will understand what we mean. 12. Please tell us who killed JFK.

It's been driving us crazy. 13. Failure to comply with the application question above will be taken very seriously and result in the severest of punishments - Roger Douglas will be put in charge of your economy, and help craigslist, it will serve you right. Thank you for your co-operation. (DATE UNDETERMINED) CANADIAN VERSION OF THE NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE.

To the citizens of the United States of America. 1. In the light of question your failure to elect a President of the United States, and thus govern yourselves, we hereby give you notice of the Revocation of essay of grass your Independence, effective today. 2. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all States, Commonwealths and other Territories; with the exception of Utah, which she does not fancy. 3. Your new Prime Minister, The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair MP, for the 97.85% of you who do not know that there is a world outside of your borders, will appoint a Minister for application question, America without the need for class craigslist, further elections. 4. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of question you have noticed. 5. To aid in the Transition to a British Overseas Dependency, the online following rules are introduced with immediate effect.

i. You should look up “revocation” in application, the Oxford English Dictionary. Essay! Then look up the word “aluminium”. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. ii. Generally you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up “vocabulary”. Using the application same 27 words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up “interspersed” iii. There is no such thing as “US English”. We will let Microsoft know on annotated bibliography chicago turabian style, your behalf.

iv. You should learn to application, distinguish between the English and on mobile, Australian accents. It really is not that hard. v. Hollywood will be required to application, occasionally to cast English actors as the b.com essay “Good Guys”, and Canadian actors not as Americans with funny accents. vi. You should relearn your original National Anthem, “God Save the Queen”. Application Question! This is to be carried out only after Task 1 is completed, as we do not want you to get confused and give up half way. vii. All Law Enforcement Agencies will be replaced with the online class Royal Canadian Mounted Police, who are very used to clearing up after your mess, and dealing with your criminal intent.

They do reserve the right to shoot you just because you are American. viii. You should declare war in Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any Merde. The 98.85% of you who are not aware that there is question, a outside of your borders should count yourselves lucky. Chicago Turabian! The Russians have never been the “Bad Guys”. Merde is the French word for question, *beep* ix.

July the 4th is no longer a Public Holiday. November the 8th will be a new National Holiday, but only in England and essay of grass, Canada. This will be called “Indecisive Day”. x. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap anyway, and it is for application question, your own good. You will understand when we show you a German car.

xi. Please tell us who shot JFK. We know it’s one of you but it’s been driving us nuts for years! 6. The preceding points are to advantages and disadvantages, be put into effect immediately. Any questions regarding the Transition or its benefits, please contact Canada or Australia, as they have the entire system in order. 7. Application Question! Thank you for your co-operation. NOTICE OF RECIPROCAL COLONIZATION. Mark Simkiss wrote I wrote this around the US election and was happy to have seen it floating around the Internet at the time. I find the whole thing particularly interesting being an American of both English and Irish decent, and the humor of the essay topics whole thing makes me smile every time I read any of the emails related to the situation. Also, as you'll notice, there is a link at question, the end which is how to in a narrative, a pretty good resource for US/UK vocabulary.

It's pretty funny in fact, even if it is only 70% accurate in my best estimation. To those with the ability to read English, moreover, to speak it and have one’s accent understood, and to those for whom humor is seen in humor and humour, this is the application American response to mum’s response to essay topics for leaves of grass, our dilemma in America. NOTICE OF RECIPROCAL COLONIZATION. To the citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, to the Commonwealth of Nations, including, but not limited to, Canada (which is already a state, excluding Québec), Australia, New Zealand, Bermuda, Jamaica, etc., and any other nation lacking the application inspiration to create for themselves a national flag not resembling the Union Jack: In light of the fact that although America stands firmly on her own two feet, this nation has been formed with ideas derived from find in a narrative essay some of the children of the best free thinkers in 17 th century Great Britain, and has been rooted in such. Therefore, the citizens of the application United States of essay for leaves America hereby impose the following decree as our birth rite: 1. Like our mother has previously done, the question citizens of the United States of America now impose unilateral colonization upon the above fore-mentioned nations, which are for this day forward to be deemed and to which referred, Colonies of the United States of America. 2. As mum taught us best, none of the Colonies shall have any representation in our globally expansive government, however, fear not as they will be taxed thrice as heavily as any of the class members of the Original Fifty States, and this shall be deemed a privilege. 3. All currency in ridiculous color-coded Monopoly board game pastels shall be destroyed and replaced with the correct currency colors of green, black, and white. Failure to forfeit such will be treated as both servile insurrection and submission of testimony on one’s behalf to application, illiteracy and need for color to sort one’s purse.

4. The President of the both the how to in a narrative United States of America and her Colonies shall be determined by the residents of the state of Florida consisting of mostly senior citizens, expatriated Canadians, Cuban refugees, and in the future – the application now disbanded British Royalty. This will be deemed a fair representation for all. 5. English will be removed as the official language of the former UK and the former Commonwealth of Nations as well as the like for essay on mobile advantages, English and French in Canada. The Colonies will conform to the United States’ policy of question no official language as the English language is to be enriched with the how to essay words of the question world, not purified of topics for leaves them. 6. Police will no longer be called Bobbies in the UK. The appellation of toque for a cap or hat will be forbidden in Canada. Words spelled like centre will not be removed, but restricted. In this instance centre shall mean a physical place, where center shall mean the middle. 7. The Original Fifty States will concede a small token in good faith and instate the metric system.

8. The Oxford English Dictionary shall be renamed the Harvard-M.I.T. Dictionary of the application Global English Language. 9. Bibliography! Excluding the incontrovertibly inevitable linguistic derelicts of any society, all members of the application Colonies shall be required to keep a vocabulary on par in volume with that of the dante current average American of the application question day, and not simply Standard Received English as is spoken by many Geordies, Scots, Welsh, Nova Scotians, and Southern States Americans. 10. Obsolescent pronunciations such as roit for online class help craigslist, right, ad-ver-tiss-mint for advertisement, which by the way will pick-up a ‘z’ to replace the ‘s’ in the former American spelling, shall be banned. 11. Any citizen of America or her Colonies caught speaking the letter ‘z’ as ‘zed’ shall be latched into the town center’s stocks, head and hands, for the townspeople to mock. 12. The citizens of America’s Colonies, with the application question exception of Canada, shall be required to actually read the spelling of ‘aluminum’ as used in the Original Fifty States, to conceptualize how it is dante alighieri essay, not said with ‘-inium’ as the ending pronunciation.

These individuals will be screened as per question items number three (3) of this list. 13. The existence of ‘types’ of English shall be abolished. All English, e.g. U.S. English, U.K. English, Canadian English, etc., shall be called English, with the exception of Scots English, which will now be called Greek. 14.

The second level of all buses, a.k.a. lorries, coaches, etc., will be removed. 15. Education will commence to eradicate the bibliography chicago style jousting gene from the application question citizens in Colonies where the medieval idea of driving on the left still exists, including the U.S. Virgin Islands. 16. American Football will keep its status as ‘Football’ and English Football will become ‘Soccer’ universally throughout the Colonies. This means France will have to change to Le Soccer or Le Soc. 17. There will be no more warm beer, and the citizens of the Colonies will no longer be subjected to watered-down macro beers such as Budweiser and Miller.

Real American beer will be had by all. 18. Everyone in the former British Isles shall be required to see an b.com essay orthodontist on a regular basis. 19. Application Question! Time shall be referred to as the following: WDC + 05:00 in London. 20. The new states of part 1 english England, Scotland, Wales, British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, Québec, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland Labrador, Price Edward Island, New Brunswick, Nunavut, Western Australia, Northern Territory, Queensland, New South Wales, Victoria, South Australia, Tasmania, New Zealand, Antigua, Barbados, Bahamas, Belize, Salomon Islands, St. Kitts Nevis, St.

Lucia, St. Application Question! Vincent the Grenadines, South Africa, Trinidad Tobago, and Western Samoa shall each receive a star on the flag to represent their statehood. In addition, the Northwest Territories and the Yukon Territory will be renamed the how to in a state of Arctic and the state of Yukon, respectively - each receiving a star to represent their statehood as well. Finally, Puerto Rico, American Samoa, the question U.S. Virgin Islands, and turabian, Guam shall all be granted statehood and issued a star on application question, the flag. Online! The other thirty-four (34) remaining members of the former Commonwealth of Nations shall be disbanded with the option to apply for statehood within ten (10) years. 21. Hong Kong will be returned to Colony status - we do not bow to China.

22. Application! As of November 21, 2000, 57% of Americans from the Original Fifty States were proficient in more than one (1) language, representing 157,691,225 people speaking two (2) or more languages and over 90,000,000 who speak a language other than English at part, home. All Colonies will be required to maintain that 50% of their territorial population can speak more than one (1) language, with the exception of Quebec, where, due to the prevalence of French, 80% of the inhabitants shall be required to be bilingual or better. 23. Question! The Colonies will now be permitted to purchase the good American cars and dante topics, will no longer be restricted to the bottom of the line models, as is prominent in Europe. 24. Outside the Original Fifty States and the former Canada, the numbering system shall be reorganized as such: 000 = thousand; 000,000 = million; 000,000,000 = billion; 000,000,000,000 = trillion; 000,000,000,000,000 = quadrillion, and so forth. 25. Measuring your weight in application question, stones will only be permitted when inebriated. 26. (Now-defunct link to humour article about America) - This site is annotated chicago turabian, only about 70% accurate but humorous. 27. Application! (Now-defunct author email address) - send me a note.

The preceding was authored by Mark J. Simkiss, Jr. -- an American of both English and online class craigslist, Irish decent. REAL ESTATE SALE - UNITED STATES. In the light of the question American people's inability to elect a new president, the British Government have revoked the Declaration of online craigslist Independence. Question! Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, has placed the USA on the real estate market. Monies raised shall contribute to dante alighieri topics, the upkeep of the British Monarchy. So far, land has been allocated to the following parties by Royal Decree: ENGLAND. Wish to application question, reclaim and retain their original East Coast territories e.g. New England, Massachussetts, Virginia etc etc.

These parts were colonised in the time of Queen Elizabeth I so it would be neat if they were reclaimed by Queen Elizabeth II. Any exceptions to this are as noted below and are granted out of Her Majesty's generosity to fellow European nations. We don't actually want to live in these places, you understand and, in due course, we will ship out our unemployed or undesirables to a thesis narrative essay, these states since Australia won't accept them any more. THE NETHERLANDS. New York was originally called Nieuw Amsterdam and will revert to that name. The term yankee is derived from the Dutch Jan Kees (John Cheese - a generic person) and question, the willingness of certain parties to essay on mobile phones, call themselves or others Yankees is the manifestation of application question a subconscious desire to return to being a Dutch territory. With rising water levels due to global warming, the Dutch want a place which will still be above sea level in 10 years' time. NORTHERN IRELAND. Since the US is so damned interested in Northern Irish affairs and has bigger St Patrick's Day celebrations than the Irish in their native country, it seems sensible to relocate the topics Irish to Utah (demonstrating that Her Majesty has a sense of humour). Question! A state will be bought for them as a gift from the British Government. To avoid any residual inconveniences to Britain, both Northern Irish and Southern Irish shall be relocated.

They'll fit right into the gun-culture and online class craigslist, it will save on postage costs for NORAID. Vacated Ireland will then be used for application question, resettlement of Eastern European immigrants into on mobile phones, the UK. ISRAEL. The votes of American Jews are so valuable that the US supports poor beleaguered Israel in order to please this portion of the American voting population. Rather than fight over a little bit of desert stuck in the middle of a bunch of application question Muslim countries, it seems sensible to help, simply relocate all Israelis to America. Application! Jerusalem can be recreated in Hollywood where it will be bigger and better than the original without the inconvenience of being a war-zone. Jerusaland will be a theme park in part 1 english, Southern Florida. Since all Israelis do National Service in question, the Army, they will provide an immediate police/security force - and one without obesity problems.

Israel will therefore have most of Southern Florida, excluding Miami which will go to Cuba. CUBA Will get Miami, Florida. They currently have it in all but name. And with only one party on the ballot paper, they are unlikely to screw up on elections. REDNECKS The Rednecks will be allocated Northern Florida, Georgia, Alabama, and the Carolinas.

No-one else wants to live there. Incest and trailers will be mandatory in these states. CANADA. Essay On Mobile Phones Advantages! They're only next door so Her Majesty is going to question, award them 'that scruffy bit of chicago land next to their back yard' and ask them to get it decently under control. That way, they can let Quebec declare independence or sell itself to France and not be inconvenienced by the loss of application question a scrap of land. QUEBEC As a goodwill measure, Quebec will get Louisiana which is Cajun country. No-one else wants the essay on mobile phones and disadvantages place since the staple diet of crayfish is considered unfit for human consumption. In winter, they can all close up Quebec and head south to warmer climes.

Quebec/Louisiana will be renamed 'North Arcadia' and 'South Arcadia'. FRANCE Will be co-owner North and South Arcadia. MEXICO. The number of legal and illegal immigrants into question, the US makes parts of the online help craigslist US Mexican by default. Spanish is application, becoming the main language in many parts and essay, Hispanics the main ethnic group. Might as well make it official. No-one's going to notice the difference. Mexico therefore will get Texas, Nevada and California - they already have these in all but name. The Pacific Ocean will eventually claim coastal California anyway. ITALY New Jersey will go to application, Italy who already control it anyway via the mob.

Only the paperwork remains to be filed . JAPAN They will get Hawaii … at how to find a thesis essay, long last. Sumo wrestling will be the question Hawaiian national sport. TEXACO Have put in a bid for essay topics, Alaska. Application Question! However, Alaska will be returned to the Russians who sold it to the US for on mobile and disadvantages, a pittance. They can then sell the oil on to Texaco and get the Russian economy going again. GERMANY Germany will get Wisconsin and Pennsylvania. The Pennsylvania Dutch are in question, fact of German origin. Pennsylvania will be turned into alighieri essay topics, a special reserve (a living museum) for reclusive religious orders which shun the application trappings of modern life such as Shakers, Amish and Pennsylvania Dutch. UNITED NATIONS Will take control of dante all American Armed Forces. Question! We mean the real armed forces, not the private militias. Private militias are, of course, free to apply to a thesis in a narrative essay, Sierra Leone where there are plenty of employment opportunities, unless of application question course you are racist in which case South Africa may be more appropriate.

That way the UN-controlled US Forces can come along and beat the sh*t out of you just like they've always wanted to do, but never been allowed to do. ARYAN NATION Aryan Nation will get Idaho. Idaho will become a white supremacist state. All non-whites will be given massive resettlement packages after which a 15 feet high razorwire fence without gates will be erected around Idaho and it will become a no-fly zone. 1 English Essay! Private militias, gun-crazed radicals and supremacist groups can then use the place to their hearts' content. It will be a closed state so they can only wipe out each other due to application, having no-one else to wipe out. Once they've successfully wiped out each other, Idaho will be put on the market again.

NATIVE POPULATION A bit of South Dakota will be allocated in perpetuity to the American Indians. They will also get Manhattan Island back. Oh wait, isn't that a part of Nieuw Amsterdam which is already allocated to the Dutch? They will instead have the alighieri rights to application question, graze horses and hunt on Manhattan Island. But we'd like our beads back please. ANNHEISER-BUSCH Annheiser-Busch will end up with Missouri whether they want it or not. ILLEGAL ALIENS An alien is an extraterrestrial. A person from another country is essay on mobile phones advantages, a 'foreigner' not an application 'alien'. Get that fact wrong at your peril since any American who believes s/he is an alien or an alien/human hybrid will be shipped off-planet immediately for interplanetary immigration offences.

After that, it's up to you to find your way back to your planet of essay phones advantages origin or get your parent to come pick you up. Application Question! Any American wishing to opt out of this deal by being abducted by topics, aliens is free to do so. Only don't come crying to question, Her Majesty about implants, rectal exams or unbreathable atmospheres. MISCELLANEOUS REQUESTS UNDER CONSIDERATION ACT UP would like San Francisco. Norway will have Minnesota, please and anywhere coastal that they can hunt whales. Microsoft will have Washington State. On Mobile Phones And Disadvantages! Bill Gates will have the big White place, please. Intel will have Oregon. Ford want Michigan.

MENSA LAUNCHES CHAD SPECIAL INTEREST GROUP. EXPATRIOT TIMES, London, England, 10th November 2000. Following the US Election, the American branch of Mensa, the society for application question, those with high IQs, today announced a new Special Interest Group (SIG). Due to popular demand we're launching a SIG for punching holes in pieces of paper, said a spokesperson for American Mensa, It will be called the Chad Opinion Group (COG). We plan to have an online 'Chad-room' where our members (COGnescenti) can exchange views about hole-punching and we produce a monthly newsletter devoted to Chadding Techniques. It's a very emotive issue - the relative merits of clean-cut chads, pregnant or dimpled chads, hanging chads, chads in paper, cardboard and other materials and any other type of essay for leaves of grass chad you care to mention. All types of application question Chad-enthusiast will be welcome just so long as they qualify for Mensa membership. Whether you only ever punch holes during elections or whether you're a filing clerk who punches holes every day, just so long as you have a high IQ you can subscribe to this SIG. When accused of 'dumbing down' Mensa, their spokesperson said, We are simply moving with the times. Part 1 English Essay! There's a great deal of interest in chads right now and the Florida ballot papers proved that you need a high level of intelligence to application question, punch out chads properly.

Commenting on the suggestion that Mensa-level intelligence is required for hole-punching, Darrin Antrobus, now living in the UK, said This is so true it hurts. GEORGE W. BUSH FINAL ACCEPTANCE SPEECH. My fellow Armenians, As I stand here today looking over this magnificent viagra, I think we can agree that the past is essay and disadvantages, over. Our country is ready for a fresh, bipolar approach. I want to application, bring America together. We are the hill shining on a city, and topics for leaves of grass, each of us can get to the top if we set our feet to it. Question! Americans have made their decision. They don't need sympathy; they need ablutions. We need to move on beyond the petty armadilloes.

Politics doesn't have to be the way it is today. We can make the pie higher. A high pie lets everyone put food on their family and annotated chicago turabian, their family on the table. That's my record: I side with the people. And the B-side of my record is question, Billy-Joe Gibbs and the Shoeshine Boys singing Streets of Laredo. A president has to think not only of himself and his family and his baseball team's families, but all American families. I don't believe a president should be choosing who are the right Americans and who are the wrong Americans. All of b.com part us together, white or wrong, black or right. Or perversely. That's why my tax cut is as broad as we are. And it will give our expansion a timely dose of wind.

I say there is a cost to inaction. I haven't done the acrobatics, but it's probably around a trillion dollars. That's a good round sum to offer to question, everyone, especially our seniors who are the backache of our nation. I would like to take a moment to mention my mother, Barbara Bush, who taught me to read and write when I was still knee-high to a lawnmower. We need our seniors to be free to pass on their life's work to those they love, and especially to pass on. Thanks, Mom and Dad. We know America is the essay on mobile phones best in the world. We are the application question great super-premium; we cannot afford to be unleaded.

This is still a world of madmen and online class, mental losses. And mental loss is easy to underestimate. We need a sharpened sword to light our way. Application Question! To quote Ronald Reagan: I do not believe in chicago turabian, a fate that will fall on us if we do nothing. I do believe in a fate that will fall on us if we do something. And it must never run our lives. The purpose of prosperity is to make sure the American dream touches every killing heart. Progress can be slow; you measure it in inches and application question, feet, not miles or kilograms.

Or cantilevers. Dante Alighieri! I worked in Texas by common sense and plain dozing. Application! I got on with small business because I was one myself. I'm less now. But I'm also more. We are all less and more. Help! More or less. And I believe we must match our compassionate hearts with out preservative minds.

I know you would rather be watching TV, and application question, so would I, so I will draw to a confusion. My message is: I will get things done. I will inspire and untie. I will appeal to people's better angles. I will prove that politics can be bigger than you ever thought possible. We will trust the people we serve, and serve the people we trust. Alighieri Topics! Together we can do what needs to be done to preserve this great bastard of freedom. Thank you and God help America.

(via email; believed to originate from December issue of The Economist) (2004) USENET VERSION 1. Direct Communications Unit. 7th Floor, 50 Queen Anne's Gate. London, SW1H 9AT. RE: Revocation of your Independence. In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.

Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and application question, the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the annotated turabian style following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

Rt Hon David Blunkett. (2004) USENET VERSION 2. Official messages from her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II of England to application, all Americans: In view of help your failure to elect a proper and question, semi-intelligent president of the United States in essay topics, two straight elections and question, showing you are now incapable of governing yourselves, The queen hereby gives formal notice of the how to find in a narrative essay revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II will assume duties as your monarch and supreme ruler over all states and question, territories except for dante alighieri topics, Arkansas, Tennessee, Alabama and Florida which her Majesty considers either too vile or senile to application question, bother with reforming. Her Majesty will appoint a royal governor that shall be responsible for on mobile phones advantages, all other states. Question! Since you can not vote intelligently or decide matters of dante essay state, both houses of Congress, the supreme court and obviously the office of question president are disbanded effectively immediately.

The country formally known as the United States, now a laughingstock in the eyes of the world is dante alighieri essay topics, now reabsorbed into the British empire from which it came. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules will take effect next Monday. 1. All American flags will be burned and replaced immediately with the union jack, official flag of the United Kingdom. 2. The armed forces will report to Prince William. Prince Charles will become Secretary of Defence, other posts to be filled by members of the royal family to question, be announced shortly. 3. All will be required to learn ballroom dancing, eat mutton every Tuesday, fish and chips on Fridays and come to appreciate warm beer. 4. All Americans will become citizens of the British crown and will bow in my presence. 5. Class Help Craigslist! All American holidays except for New Years and Christmas are revoked to be replaced by holidays celebrated in the UK. 5. Application! All wages, incomes, properties will be taxed at 30% of value with all proceeds forwarded to the UK yearly. 6. Starbucks will replace coffee with twenty flavours of British tea.

The Queen expresses regret for taking such drastic measures, but since half of Americans never bother to vote and the other half twice in a row decided to vote for a blithering idiot that by the way the last time he visited wrecked my rose garden with his helicopter and goons running all over the queen's official gardens and 1 english essay, never even saying he was sorry, the Queen has no choice but to revoke your sovereignty since it is clear too many Americans have taken leave of their senses. (2004) USENET MINOR VARIANTS. There were some variant openings for application, the two main versions (above): In light of your failure to make the correct decision in electing your President, thus showing you to b.com part essay, be unfit to govern yourselves, we hereby give you notice of the question revocation of your independence effective as of Monday 8th November 2004. [etc] In the on mobile light of your failure to elect a sane President of the United States and thus to govern yourselves with consideration for the rest of world, we hereby give notice of the Revocation of your Independence, effective immediately . Application Question! [etc]

To the part 1 english essay citizens of the United States of America, in view of Prime Minister Tony Blair becoming President of all he surveys, we hereby give notice of the application revocation of your independence, effective today. (2004) RESPONSE FROM THE USA. The main response circulated was largely the same as in 2000: DECLARATION OF ANNEXING THE BRITISH ISLES AS PART OF THE USA. (2004) (ANOTHER) US RESPONSE TO THE REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. While we Americans might have taken this little joke of b.com part 1 english essay yours badly, we have recognized it for what it is: a cry for help. We realize that you are tired of being a third-rate little country on your own. Therefore we shall bring you into the fold as our 51st state. There will be some changes:

1. An unprecedented road-building initiative shall commence immediately. Check out the interstate system in question, the US. You'll see why this is needed. Part 1 English Essay! We will probably bring in Germans to question, do this. Looking at dante essay topics, you present system of transport there seems to be nothing to recommend English engineers. 2. Everyone will be issued with an automobile.

Once you realize that commute of over 30 minutes in a country this size is unacceptable, you'll thank us. 3. Application! Squads of bitter, overweight, ex-high school, and essay topics, college athletes will be shipped over to application, instruct you on winning. In short, winning is everything. Coming in third place consistently and congratulating yourselves on being good sports is stupid. Wake up. Chicago Turabian Style! (We also believe this pedantic infatuation with language may be due to your loser status. Giving you something to feel good about.)

4. Application Question! You will no longer be allowed to mention the Second World War. It was the last thing you won, but it was over fifty years ago. 5. You will now be allowed to express your feelings when you want. If someone cuts in front of essay on mobile phones you in question, line - queue is a silly word and is henceforth outlawed - you are now allowed to kick his ass or shoot him. That's part of how to a thesis narrative being an American: choices and handguns. You're really going to like this. 6. The English tradition of getting in line will probably go out of style once the stores are open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and actually have what you're looking for at a price you can afford. This is a lot to take in. Breathe slowly and question, take it a little at a time. 7. Soccer is out the window. Let's face it, sitting around for two hours watching a bunch of guys not score points is online help, infuriating.

That's why you kill each other over it. 8. The Spice Girls will be executed. No discussion. Things that will not change: 1. The monarchy will remain much as it is today. We think it's cute. Application! However we will tax them. Anybody that rich can afford it. 2. Dante Alighieri! You can keep ignoring the metric system, but maybe do it a little more proactively like the rest of the States.

Let's face it. Do you really want your kids using something the French came up with? 3. The English accent will remain intact. We like the sound of it, even if you do use a lot of silly words. Congratulations on your ascension to these heady heights. (2004) THE BRITISH REJECTION OF THE REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. Upon reflection, Her Majesty's Government has decided that the application British no longer want America. For a start, we do not wish to lower our average IQ. On Mobile Phones! To allow distinction between Britain and America the following should be implemented forthwith: 1. The English language is English as the name English suggests; new dialects made from the non-English are to be banned. The English decide how the English language is to be spoken.

As no Americans know how to speak English, we think it best for you to make up your own language - you’ve nearly done so already. It’ll be easier than learning correct English. We advise that the application question creation of the new language American should be left to the few of you with IQs larger than 60. Topics For Leaves! English will now be studied as a foreign language at application, all stages of the American education system; you may just learn it that way. Your country does not have a higher number of annotated chicago style English speakers, what you are speaking is not actually English. There is no such nationality as Scotch; it is application, Scottish. Don’t complain about how we depict you when you don’t even know what we’re called. 2. Hollywood is to acknowledge what really happened in all war films. You did not have the U-571 mission. Online Class! That was the application question British.

We Were Soldiers is to have a new ending. Don't even get us started on The Patriot. Class Craigslist! You did not win Vietnam; the films should show this. Hollywood is to create 10 films of what America did wrong in wartime, we all make mistakes, no wonder you are all big-headed. 3. Sports are from now on allowed no padding. We can cope without it, you will be surprised to application question, find that no other country uses it and it is not necessary. Dante Alighieri Essay Topics! We created the first football, so we decide what is football.

Your sport football is application question, now called American Women’s Rugby. Basketball will be called Men’s Netball. When you have realised that less padding is better, bouncing the ball will not be allowed. In Hockey only the goalkeeper will wear pads, and you are only allowed to hit with one side of the stick. Cricket will be taught from an early age; while adults can’t understand it, the children might still develop an IQ. 4. The Star Spangled Banner is to be used as the annotated bibliography chicago turabian theme tune for Sesame Street.

The existing one is a little too intelligent for American children. Application Question! As for the adults, the Sesame Street theme tune is on the same level as your intellectual abilities and is now your National Anthem. Essay! If you come back with some smart-arse comment about Sesame Street’s theme tune, it will just prove that you watch it. Think carefully. 5. Teletubbies was intended for children's television. If you can’t cope with it try to make some other childish programmes yourself. 6. Adverts can only question, be shown twice every 30 minutes on television.

TV is for programmes not advertising. Shopping channels will be merged with ordinary stations; this will reduce your advertising, your credit card debts, and bibliography turabian, the cost of your cable bill. 7. Again, we made beer, so we decide what it is. American Budweiser is application, not beer; beer tastes good. 8. In the next US election you will vote for someone who has the mental age of at least 12. It’s not much, but improvements should be gradual. If you elect someone with a mental age of more than 18, each of those that voted for this person will be presented with a certificate of essay advantages and disadvantages sanity and mediocre intelligence.

9. Application! If you always sue people, your best musicians may leave, as they will become bankrupt. Class Help! Michael Jackson and Eminem are evidence that all your successful people just get sued all the time. With this it is no surprise that no-one has an application IQ of above 60, as the in a essay ones that do have to question, give their money to part 1 english, those that don’t. 10. You are not Irish. Question! The real Irish get pissed off when you claim that you are once a year. If you insist on this habit, you may become part of Ireland, but that will mean that you have to learn English, rather than create American (see clause 1). 11. We don’t have handguns; our guns are used for hunting animals not people. You should adapt to do likewise.

This will reduce your death toll, and maybe some of the intelligent Americans may survive. 12. Thank you for your co-operation. We believe if you do the above, your average IQ may rise by annotated turabian, 50%. You may now continue watching Teletubbies. PS You’re welcome for Iraq, though the Black Watch isn't too happy at application, the moment. It's a Scottish regiment, not a Scotch regiment (see clause 1) PPS Music is the one thing you’ve got right, stop suing the good artists. On second thoughts …. Keep on killing each other with handguns and keep eating burgers and pizzas washed down with cola.

That way, the combined mortality due to shootings, obesity and online, diabetes will render the application American dilemma obsolete long before the next US Election is due. (2004) ELECTION NOTICE. To the dante topics citizens of the former United States of application question America, In the event of inability to nominate a sentient candidate for President of the find narrative essay USA, we hereby give notice of the application question revocation of your nationhood before you can once again make fools of essay topics yourself when it comes to actually voting. To save you the effort of deciding whether your chads are hanging or merely pregnant, Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II intends to resume monarchial duties over all states, effective immediately. To help the question Royal coffers, she intends to realise the land value by disposing of the territory in parcels as follows:- Texas will formally become part of Mexico; this formalises the current arrangement as the state is already a defacto part of Mexico. We hope the formalisation of its status will improve the essay topics cuisine.

To give the question Mexicans more lebensraum Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma and Missouri will also become part of Mexico. Alaska will be given back to Russia. Bibliography Chicago! Inhabitants of the aforementioned states are advised to enrol on language courses, although considering how badly they speak English, their new landlords might resent having their languages mangled in application question, a similar fashion. Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, the essay phones and disadvantages Dakotas, Nebraska, Minnesota and Iowa will all be given to application, Canada and become part of the British Commonwealth. The majority of Canada's population is crammed up against online help their warmer southern border, so we believe it only fair they get a bit of breathing room.

Inhabitants of those regions will need to get used to things such as Mounties, good manners and speaking French. Louisiana, Mississippi, Arkansas and Alabama, which her Majesty considers somewhat backward, will be renamed Arcadia and given to the Quebecois as an independent country. We have been to Quebec and noticed that it gets a bit chilly and they are always petitioning for independence, so we've decided to give it to them. All lawyers and application question, political correctness campaigners will be transported to Nevada. So much of America is run by lawyers, for the benefit of lawyers, that they are considered a degenerate separate race and will be given their own country. There will be strict border controls and they will not be permitted passports. By the part 1 english essay time the lawyers have finished suing each other over application what to call the essay topics new country, they will have died out. Application! Political correctness campaigners will be too busy with circumlocutions to ever get around to breeding. Elsewhere, lawyers will largely be replaced by essay topics for leaves, something currently missing from American society - common sense. The reason the USA has become so litigious is a ploy by its real ruling class - lawyers - to question, remain rich and in control. Florida will be given to Israel, since its inhabitants are already so obsessed with what goes on topics for leaves, in that country.

When technology permits, it will be air-freighted to the Middle East. Your hazy grasp of application question world geography means you probably won't notice anything except the lack of regular tropical storms. California will be given its independence as a gay state. Feel free to paint it pink, rename it or whatever you like, but don't get too attached to any seafront properties as another couple of class quakes will see most of it fall into the sea. Her Majesty rather fancies Hawaii as a royal retreat and a playboy paradise for Princes William and application question, Harry. Class Help! It will make a change from all those skiing holidays at Klosters. After all, the Queen and Duke are not getting any younger and would prefer to over-winter in application, warmer climes. The remaining states, i.e. those not mentioned individually, will be turned over to native American rule. In the interest of fairness, descendants of early colonists will get their beads back. Anyone descended from immigrant stock, which is most of you, will be moved into a reservation.

We suggest Manhattan Island, though it might get a bit crowded. Thank you for your co-operation and have a nice day. It was inevitable that the Revocation would do the rounds again in 2004. In addition to the land-sale, there were 2 main versions in circulation and a number of minor variations of each of these. The main variants are pick-and-mix versions of the previous election's efforts. However, being an old joke it did not take the world be storm as it did in 2000. (2012) AFTER RE-ELECTION OF BARACK OBAMA. A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN. To the essay citizens of the application question United States of bibliography turabian style America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II,

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for question, President of the help craigslist USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.) Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of question you noticed. On Mobile Advantages! To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the question following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. Essay! The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by application, the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary'). 2. Online Help! Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an question unacceptable and bibliography chicago, inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. Question! We will let Microsoft know on topics, your behalf.

The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' 3. Application Question! July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. 4. You will learn to how to find narrative essay, resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and application, therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. Annotated Bibliography Chicago Turabian Style! If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse. 5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to question, carry a vegetable peeler in public.

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and online class, you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and question, without the benefit of online help craigslist conversion tables. Application Question! Both roundabouts and 1 english, metrication will help you understand the British sense of application humour. 7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it. 8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in annotated bibliography turabian style, animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar. 9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on application, earth and it can only be due to help craigslist, the beer.

They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of question further confusion. 10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Class Help! Hollywood will also be required to application question, cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater. 11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in b.com part essay, time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for application, a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is b.com part 1 english, a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of application question their deliveries. 13.. You must tell us who killed JFK.

It's been driving us mad. 14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to find a thesis in a, 1776). 15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and application question, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen! PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)! Brief History of this Political Parody. The 4 item Revocation of for leaves of grass Independence was posted 8 th November by Alan Baxter (Rochester, UK) on an internal newsgroup of application question a defence company operating in the UK, US and Australia. It grew to a 10 item, then a 13 item, list. Dante Topics! Newsgroup subscriber Peter Rieden (Farnborough, UK) mailed his Revocation of Independence to usenet on 15 th November and other subscribers to the internal newsgroup passed it on by email and newsgroup. Rieden doesn't claim authorship of the various versions currently in circulation, but is a co-author of the most widespread version (later recycled in question, 2004). He claimed to have received a 10 item version by email from a colleague at Warton, UK and rehashed it into a 13 point version which he posted to advantages and disadvantages, usenet. Rieden noted that he got the rest of application his ideas from an item on the BBC Radio 4 Today program (06:30 to 09:00 morning news program). It is possible that the version forwarded by Baxter and that received and on mobile phones advantages, extended by Rieden was an item emailed to question, a few friends by alighieri, Dan Fox on the 8th November.

In May 2001 some 6 months after the Revocation of Independence did the rounds, Dan Fox, a public relations consultant from London and self-confessed political junkie, claimed to be the ultimate originator of the Revocation of Independence. He claimed to have written his Revocation email (a list of items) in the early hours of November the 8 th and emailed it to 13 people in the US. This would account for the different (and terser) list published in the USA. Within days Fox and his 13 email contacts received amended versions from friends throughout Europe and North America, though he claims they were clearly based on his original. However, the Revocation had taken on a life of its own and was evolving into a quite different list. In April 2005, Kevin O'Connor also claimed to be the original author of the 10 point version while at university. He claims to have mailed it to a few friends and had no idea how it got onto the internet. O'Connor's claimed 10 point version is equivalent to the Rieden 13 point version, minus the three items relating to application question, sea salt, bitter (beer) and gasoline prices. O'Connor claims it was an original take on the Bush/Gore election, with a variety of old running jokes from his Senior School days when he hung around with a witty (and jokingly anti-French) crowd who had an American for an English Teacher. It is apparent that the various terms of the Revocation occurred to various contributors, prompted by the US election and by a long-standing British cultural joke.

Fox's (or O'Connor's) emailed version may have brought a simmering British joke to boiling point. Once let loose by email, its progress and evolution become impossible to trace - items were added, edited or lost. Various forms were soon widespread throughout usenet, on websites and in inboxes. There were several identifiable major and minor variants. The day after Rieden's usenet posting (although by then it had already leaked onto usenet via other routes), the annotated turabian style Revocation was emailed out as a joke-of-the-day. Upon a few more refining comments (added by other individuals) it became the article which was emailed around the world. Application Question! The first 4 points of the terse American 15 point version are identical to those in the Baxter version and may owe more to Fox's original than to the Baxter/Rieden version, but its spread was hindered by cultural references that mean little to non-Americans e.g. outside of the USA, relatively few know what the essay topics of grass Washington Monument or Lincoln Memorial are.

Those items were soon lost from the list. On Thursday 16 th it appeared on the BBC News Website. On Sunday 19 th November, it was mentioned on the 09:00 UK ITV News. On 20 th November I received (by company internal email) the application first of many responses - a Notice of Annexation of the UK by the US. On Tuesday 21 st , the essay topics for leaves of grass email version of Revocation was read out in application, full on BBC Radio Merseyside and appeared on the front page of the prestigious UK newspaper, The Times in the article Who Wants to Be A President? which read: The latest bumper sticker reads 'Screw this I'm moving to Canada' and an internet proclamation suggests that as Americas 224 year experiment with independence seems to be in chaos, it may be time for Her Majesty to take over again On 20 th November Rieden admitted that his role in the writing (or rewriting) of the dante essay topics Revocation had proven to be something of an embarrassment to him.

He had received hundreds of emails from amused usenet subscribers. Question! There had not been a single negative response. By this time, recipients were adding their own personal thoughts to the Notice of Revocation leading to multiple versions in circulation. The Revocation had become email-lore and references (citations) and excerpts were appearing in on-line and hard-copy publications. Most versions stabilised at 10 or 12 items, though the content varied. Topics For Leaves! The 15 item version at application question, the top of this page is a compilation of essay on mobile phones advantages and disadvantages 5 or 6 different versions. The following response was posted to sci.military.naval on 21 st Nov as being from the application question Supreme Court of Florida, but was less well-received by Brits on the newsgroup and did not make it into email-lore: To the part imperialist British colonizers - That 'z' will have to go to start with. In the question light of your indecision over joining a common European Currency - There's no indecision - the answer was NO. You already almost speak our language - It think you have that backwards.

Princess Diana will be declared a saint. Topics For Leaves! - Too late. Look up aluminum [. . .] we discovered it, we named it, you are mispronouncing it. - Nope Aluminium was discovered in 1808 by application, Sir Humphrey Davy . (NB: Remember that American film-makers rewrote wartime history so that the US were the codebreakers, not the class help UK with the Enigma machine.) Resistance is futile. Question! Just ask Hawaii [. . .] Norman fops. - Perhaps you should visit Wales, briefly. And in order to avoid supporting third world countries and online, welfare states [. . .] Hong Kong immediately. - Once you're done in Wales, you may convalesce in the Falklands. Enjoy your vacation. Wouldn't South Georgia be more appropriate. If you wanted it pronounced 'Eddinburra' you have spelled it that way in the first place. - Take that up with the Scots - they will demand statehood in their own right or there will be claymores brandished in the Capitol. Scotch characters will wear plaid - Scotch is a drink - that sort of mistake will be painful if you make it in Sauciehall Street.

The British film industry . Application! . Essay Phones! What British Film Industry? You will learn your new national anthem The Star Spangled Banner. - Do you have Gujarati, Hindi and Farsi versions? It shall be sung every morning at kindergarten, high school, university and your places of work. You might want to application, research the history of what happened when Nissan required workers to sing the company song. The British working man can be very inventive when it comes to finding Obscene words for find a thesis in a narrative, such anthems (Note: Brits have already written obscene words to the US anthem)

If it doesn't require 45 pounds of padding, it isn't football. - Well just because its too dangerous for Americans the rest of application question us don’t have to wimp out. You should also stop playing cricket. Americans can't understand the rules. - Perhaps you might care to wonder why every Peasant in the India subcontinent can figure out something you can't. Any match which takes longer than 90 minutes will be declared a draw. - Right unlike that well known short simple game called Baseball. We will help you to how to find narrative essay, blow up your Houses of Parliament - I've a better idea, lets burn down the question White House AGAIN. Roundabouts will be banned. - Better rip up the rotaries in Mass first (Note: the first roundabout in part 1 english essay, Florida split the population into 2 parts - those who have had a wreck and those who haven't encountered the roundabout yet) You will also learn the difference between crackers, cookies and biscuits to avoid causing unnecessary confusion to mainland Americans. - We know the difference - you have a lot to learn. On 23rd November, when everyone thought that the joke was finished, an Australian response appeared on sci.military.naval, posted by David Shaw (it followed an England vs Australia rugby match). It was understandably, popular in Australia but its circulation was limited as the sentiments and language were quite forthright and some of the topics are not well understood outside of Australia. None of the responses are as widespread as the Fox/O'Connor/Baxter/Rieden version; in fact they are seen a deliberate attempts to cash in on the popularity of the Revocation proving that deliberate attempts to create urban legends and cult emails are rarely successful. Various other notices followed in the same vein, but were not widespread.

Soon after that, the Revocation seemed to die - although it would later turn out to be only application, sleeping. In 2004, it started all over again, but was largely confined to usenet, bulletin boards and blogs (blogs were uncommon in 2000). It was first spotted on 4 th November on topics of grass, usenet, but either enthusiasm had waned or the political climate no longer supported the joke because it wasn't as widespread or popular as in 2000. There were 2 main versions, one of which is the same as the 15 point collation at question, the top of this webpage. The most widespread American response was also the same as in 2000, though a second, original, response also appeared as did a British rejection notice i.e. on second thoughts we don't want you back! During 2004, it was also wrongly attributed to English comedian John Cleese and b.com 1 english essay, was circulated crediting him as the author. Cleese did not write it, the application question version was a rehash of the earlier Fox/O'Connor/Rieden/Baxter version already in wide circulation since November 2000.

Note: Internet/usenet/email humour has now been dubbed e-lore, e-folklore and e-tradition folklore and is treated as a folklore tradition in its own right. The other traditions (modes of chicago turabian style transmission) are oral tradition and written tradition. E-tradition folklore is notable for its rapid proliferation, including across national boundaries, and application question, its rapid mutation.

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Everything You Need to Know about Careers in application question Banking Consulting! In collaboration with student societies at Oxford, The Careers Service is hosting two key events ahead of the onslaught of employer presentations, workshops and fairs to help you navigate careers in ‘the city’. On Tuesday 10 October we’ll be hosting ‘Careers in Consulting: Everything You Need to Know’ from 14.00 to 16.30 at Exams Schools. Hear from 3 very different firms (Strategy, Oliver Wyman and CIL Consulting) to learn what a week in find a thesis narrative the life of a consultant is like and gain key advice to application question be on top of essay advantages and disadvantages your game for competitive applications. Then on Wednesday 11 October from 14.00 to 16.30 at Exams Schools join us for ‘Careers in Banking: Everything You Need to Know’ where you’ll hear from a range of firms including HSBC, BNY Mellon, Jefferies and Schroders.

They will be giving vital tips on how to question find your dream job in essay phones advantages and disadvantages finance and application, illustrating what their day-to-day roles involve. These events are being closely supported by a number of Oxford societies including the Finance Society, the Oxford Student Foundation and The Oxford Strategy Group. Essay On Mobile And Disadvantages! No need to book, spaces are allocated on a ‘first-come, first served’ basis. Career Workshops for Researchers in Michaelmas. Positive steps in career development come from meeting others and learning. Researchers at application Oxford can come to any of our events, but we also have bespoke opportunities for research Masters students, Research Assistants, DPhils and part, Post-Docs. These are listed below for Michaelmas Term. Also look out for Careers Days, invited speakers and skills sessions run by your department, division or post-doc network. For appointments with Rachel Bray or another Careers Adviser of your choice at the Careers Service on Banbury Road, please book through CareerConnect. Rachel Bray also offers regular appointments for scientists at the JR and Old Road Campus, bookable by application question phoning reception on 01865 274646.

Bookings for workshops/events should be through CareerConnect and if you have any queries please email courses@careers.ox.ac.uk. For: Research Assistants and Masters Students When: Thursday 5 October, 9.00 – 12.30 Where: The Careers Service Booking: This event must be booked. B.com Essay! To reserve a place please go to CareerConnect. In this workshop we will look closely at the value of doing a doctorate in today’s employment market and for ourselves as people. We will consider our personal motivations for this route, the challenges we may need to overcome to secure a place and how to thrive as a PhD student. There will also be opportunity to reflect on alternative pathways towards professional satisfaction. Pointers towards further advice and support available here at Oxford and more broadly will be given. This event must be booked. To reserve a place please go to CareerConnect.

Alternatively, book a place at our lunchtime seminar on this topic on Monday 23 October. Career Management for Research Staff and DPhils. Looking to application manage your career more effectively? This workshop has been designed specifically for University Research Staff at all levels and at any stage in their career, who want to help step back and spend a few productive hours focusing on application identifying their ideal job and future possible career paths within, or beyond, academia. An interactive mix of short individual exercises and small informal group discussions will help you to build a clearer picture of the essay, key factors relating to application your career and personal circumstances and to explore career pathways.

The session will cover: reflections on where your career is right now; creating your ideal job; job satisfaction and career motivations; identifying your values and dante alighieri, transferable skills; how to application question identify possible career pathways and move forward effectively. You will be encouraged to draw your insights together to begin a realistic personal career plan and to consider your next steps. Researchers@ Oxford Careers Fair. Research students and staff planning to attend this fair are invited to book this pre-fair event. For Leaves! Depending on the number of bookings, this could be a workshop or one-on-one careers advice to discuss CVs, Cover Letters, Interviews, job search and application, networking, or strategies to annotated get the most out of the fair. Further information on the fair can be found on the Oxford Careers Fair page. The fair booklet for application question this year will be uploaded approximately a week before the dante essay topics, event.

Researchers@ Finance Careers Fair. When: Tuesday 17 October, 13.30 – 14.30 Where: Lecture Room 2, Christ Church College (then to Fair in question Town Hall) Booking: To reserve a place please go to CareerConnect. Research students and staff planning to attend this fair are invited to book this pre-fair event. Depending on the number of bookings, this could be a workshop or one-on-one careers advice to discuss CVs, Cover Letters, Interviews, job search and b.com, networking, or strategies to get the most out application question of the fair. Further information on the fair can be found on our Fairs page. The fair booklet for alighieri essay this year will be uploaded approximately a week before the event. Researchers@ Management Consulting Careers Fair. When: Wednesday 18 October, 13.30 – 14.30 Where: Lecture Room 2, Christ Church College (then to Fair in Town Hall) Booking: To reserve a place please go to CareerConnect. Further information on the fair can be found on our Fairs page. The fair booklet for this year will be uploaded approximately a week before the event. Kickstart for application question Research Staff and their Partners/Newcomers.

When: Friday 20 October, 13.00 – 16.00 Where: Careers Service Booking: To reserve a place Researchers should book through CareerConnect. Essay Topics For Leaves! Partners of newcomers should call Careers Service reception on 01865 274646. A special careers workshop for those looking to return to work after a long career gap or for a new direction, whether through re-location, other circumstances or choice. We will cover job search strategies, document optimisation, networking and interview technique but we will also be exploring ideas and case studies on question how to online get into the market and freshen up your skills and CV. Even if you are a few years from getting back to question work, come along! There are things you can be doing now to make that transition much easier when it comes. Open to anyone considering applying for a PhD. In this session we’ll cover the steps you might take to on mobile phones discover whether a PhD is the right course of action for you, and discuss how to choose the best institution and programme for you. We’ll also briefly talk about the application process and question, funding. Researchers@ Careers in Computing Fair. When: Tuesday 24th October, 14.00 – 15.00 Where: Department of Computer Science, Robert Hooke Building Booking: To reserve a place please go to CareerConnect.

Research students and staff planning to attend the above fairs are invited to book at the relevant pre-fair event. Depending on the number of bookings, this could be a workshop or one-on-one careers advice to discuss CVs, Cover Letters, Interviews, job search and networking, or strategies to get the how to a thesis narrative essay, most out of the fair. Further information on the fair can be found on our Fairs page. The fair booklet for application this year will be uploaded approximately a week before the event. Researchers@ Arts, Media and Marketing Careers Fair. Research students and annotated chicago turabian style, staff planning to attend the above fairs are invited to book at the relevant pre-fair event. Application! Depending on the number of bookings, this could be a workshop or one-on-one careers advice to discuss CVs, Cover Letters, Interviews, job search and networking, or strategies to get the most out of the fair. Further information on part 1 english the fair can be found on our Fairs page. Application! The fair booklet for this year will be uploaded approximately a week before the event. Researchers@ Science, Engineering and Technology Careers Fair. Research students and staff planning to attend the above fairs are invited to book at the relevant pre-fair event.

Depending on the number of bookings, this could be a workshop or one-on-one careers advice to discuss CVs, Cover Letters, Interviews, job search and networking, or strategies to get the most out of the fair. Further information on the fair can be found on our Fairs page. The fair booklet for this year will be uploaded approximately a week before the event. Researchers@ Teaching and Education Fair. Research students and staff planning to a thesis attend the above fairs are invited to question book at the relevant pre-fair event.

Depending on the number of bookings, this could be a workshop or one-on-one careers advice to essay and disadvantages discuss CVs, Cover Letters, Interviews, job search and application, networking, or strategies to in a get the most out of the fair. Further information on the fair can be found on our Fairs page. The fair booklet for this year will be uploaded approximately a week before the event. Researchers@ Internship Fair. Research students and staff planning to attend the above fairs are invited to book at the relevant pre-fair event. Depending on the number of bookings, this could be a workshop or one-on-one careers advice to discuss CVs, Cover Letters, Interviews, job search and networking, or strategies to get the most out of the fair. Further information on the fair can be found on our Fairs page. Application Question! The fair booklet for this year will be uploaded approximately a week before the event. CV and Cover Letter Skills for Research Staff. This intensive workshop on annotated producing effective CVs and Cover Letters is question specifically for doctoral students and online class help craigslist, research staff, whether you are considering an academic or non-academic career, or are undecided.

Using a mix of individual and informal small group exercises, we will. understand and recognise the characteristics of effective CVs and cover letters critique the strengths and weaknesses of their own and colleagues’ current CVs evaluate example CVs and cover letters to build their knowledge of different types and styles. Insight into Academia Seminar: Myths and Realities Panel. When: Tuesday 7 November, 13.00 – 14.00 Where: Careers Service Booking: You do not need to book a place at application question this event but popular events may fill early so arrive in good time. Are you considering an in a narrative, academic career? We will hear from a small panel of application early- to mid-career academics about their day-to-day roles, how they manage a work-life balance, and opportunities for progression.

This is a chance to ask questions and generate discussion on many aspects of essay on mobile advantages and disadvantages being an application, academic. Academic Application and phones advantages and disadvantages, Interview Skills for Research Staff and DPhils. Are you a DPhil Student or Research Staff member planning to apply for academic jobs? Do you want advice on how to prepare academic applications and to improve your interview skills? This workshop, designed specifically for University of Oxford researchers pursuing academic applications, is for you. This interactive course will equip you with the skills to maximise your chances of getting academic employment. Emphasis will be given to understanding the processes which universities use to question select staff and the importance of tailoring CVs, applications, research and teaching statements accordingly. We will discuss and chicago, practice the application, skills required for effective performance at interview; preparation, self-presentation and how to topics for leaves deal with typical academic interview questions. Follow up one-to-one career discussions can additionally be used to review intended applications and to prepare for particular interviews.

Career Options for Mathematicians ( leading into Jobs for Mathematicians Careers Fair ) When: Tuesday 21 November, 15.15 – 16.00 Where: Mathematical Institute Booking: To reserve a place please go to CareerConnect. Erica Tyson from the Institute of Mathematics and its Applications will outline the application question, breadth of career options that opens up for people with outstanding skills in part mathematics. Question! It’s not only the financial and academic or teaching world that is hungry for this important skillset. Dante Alighieri Essay! Increasingly, commercial, government and not-for-profit sector players of all kinds are keen to employ highly numerate, analytical and creative thinkers to understand and predict trends, plan and develop strategy and deliver smarter and more efficient solutions. You do not need to question book a place at this event but please bear in alighieri essay topics mind that spaces will be allocated on a first-come, first served basis and popular events may fill early so arrive in good time. DPhils and research staff are very welcome to this talk and to stay for the Maths Careers Fair. Dr Rachel Bray, Careers Adviser, will be available for half an hour after the talk to discuss any questions that arise. Further information on the fair can be found on our Fairs page.

The fair booklet for this year will be uploaded approximately a week before the event. Interview Presentation Skills for Research Staff and application, DPhils. New job or direction in mind? Do you want to brush up on essay for leaves the practicalities of preparing for interviews and presentations? This workshop, designed for University Research Staff and final year DPhils, is for you. A highly interactive session, it will equip you with the skills to play the ‘recruitment game’ to best effect. We will discuss and practice the application, skills required for how to find in a effective performance at interview; preparation, self-presentation and application, how to deal with typical interview questions. The workshop will cover the skills required for both academic and part 1 english, non-academic interviews, with particular focus on the latter. Follow up one-to-one career discussions can then be used to review intended applications and to prepare for particular interviews. Insight into Academia Conversation: Gender, Age and Progression in Academia. This ‘conversation’ around gender, age and application question, progression in academia will be an informal group discussion (facilitated by a careers adviser), with two guest contributors (two early- to mid – career academics) who will share their experiences with you.

We welcome individuals from across the university with a mutual interest in b.com part 1 english the topic. The careers adviser present is an experienced group facilitator, who’ll support the application question, discussion with advice, strategies and resources, as well as offering suggestions for class help craigslist topics of application question discussion. Meeting people is a really useful way to learn more about your mutual goals: it’s the equivalent of help craigslist attending a tutorial or class discussion, and question, often attendees choose to keep in touch with fellow participants for further mutual support. Too Late to Change Direction? Career Transitions for Researchers.

In this workshop we will explore our understanding of the pros and cons of staying in academic research, whether and how we can move to another sector (or combine aspects of academia with another role) and what we feel we might be risking in making this move. In small groups, we will then. become familiar with an evidence-informed framework for assessing a potential career move, think about how to find a thesis in a essay use this in our current roles, develop some practical strategies to assist decision-making. This one day workshop, for application DPhil students and research staff who identify themselves as female, is an opportunity for you to explore your values, create tangible goals, practice presenting your achievements positively and build assertiveness and networking strategies. There will also be a guest speaker who will share their work / life story and answer any questions you have. Coffee and tea will be available from 9am and b.com part 1 english, the workshop will start promptly at 9.30am. Lunch will be included. This programme is question just for craigslist women, but note that we plan to run a mixed programme in application question Trinity Term for a mixed group of men and women. Tier 1 Graduate Entrepreneur Visa Endorsement – apply now! If you have an idea for a business, have a venture currently in development, or are piloting a new concept, you may be eligible to 1 english apply for our endorsement under the Tier 1 (Graduate Entrepreneur) visa scheme, which allows non-EEA nationals who are graduates or post-doctoral researchers to reside in the UK in order to develop their business. Previously endorsed businesses have included:

Social enterprises and not-for-profits Technology start-ups Funding generation and investment organisations Digital education tools Energy research. The University of Oxford can endorse up to question thirty applicants per of grass, year. Calls for applications are held four times a year: once in question each term, and once during the Long Vacation. A Thesis Essay! The next deadline for applications is Thursday 30 November 2017 at 12 noon . Applications are now open, and question, you can apply by email to timothy.collins@careers.ox.ac.uk, or via Symplicity (for Said Business School students), or via CareerConnect (for all other students/alum) using the following vacancy IDs: for Students: CareerConnect opportunity ID dnk94 for dante topics Alumni: CareerConnect opportunity ID 3v86d. You can find more information and details of application how to apply on essay topics our visa page or on CareerConnect. Alternatively you can email timothy.collins@careers.ox.ac.uk.

All applications must be submitted through CareerConnect or emailed to timothy.collins@careers.ox.ac.uk by Thursday 30 November 2017 at 12 noon. Win a $1000 scholarship for coming up with a morale-boosting idea. VelvetJobs, a US outsourcing and placement service, are offering a $1000 scholarship for students studying in the USA or overseas. Question! The “Employee Morale Scholarship” aims to get students thinking about their own potential future management position and how their decisions can affect employee morale. How To Find Narrative Essay! The piece should include a headline of the morale boosting idea and at least 500 words on how to effectively deploy the question, strategy.

Students of any nationality can enter, as long as they are enrolled in full time education and over the age of 18. Closing date is 16 December 2017, and dante essay, scholarship funds will be released for Hilary term 2018.

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Analysis of application George W. A Thesis In A! Bush#8217;s 9/11 Speech to Congress Essay. On September 11th, 2001, Islamic terrorists attacked the question World Trade Center in New York City, and annotated chicago the Pentagon building in application Washington D.C. The terrorists, affiliated with Al Qaeda, were led by Osama bin Laden. On September 20th, nine days after the attack on the country, President George W. Bush addressed Congress with an impromptu State of the Union address. Online Class Help! In this oration, Bush uses excessive amounts of pathos, which, when combined with multiple anaphoras and an urgently imperative tone, creates a product that reaches out to the American people as a whole in question a call for not only remembrance, but action.

With America still reeling from the bibliography turabian style demolition of the Twin Towers, George W. Bush presented his information in a well-organized style that was punctuated with questions and answers. This served to question, give the essay President a more conversational tone, and made the tense audience much more relaxed. Many of the congressmen, indeed, much of the American people, had the same questions that Bush brought forward, and they clung to his every word in the hopes of question shedding light upon the mystery of class craigslist 9/11. The questions were well chosen, as they allowed the President to application question, steer the speech in a direction that would justify immediate action, as apposed to online help craigslist, a more reserved, cautious approach. Bush incriminated bin Laden and his cohorts of Al-Qaeda, and gave some statistics about the fatalities of the act of terrorism. These numbers had a dual purpose. The first, and most obvious, was the simple dissemination of information to the American public. The other, which would help Bush himself, was to evoke feelings of sympathy, sorrow, and application question most importantly horror in the common man. Once the average citizen was won over, usually using pathos, it would be a simple task for Bush to win over Congress. Bibliography Style! One of the President#8217;s main applications of application question pathos was the way he employed individuals#8217; names.

For instance, he spoke of a passenger that help to on mobile phones and disadvantages, rush the terrorists on the plane that crashed in application Somerset County, a man named Todd Beamer. Using these names helps to personify the sorrow that the nation was feeling, Bush was able to focus these feelings into an energy which he could, and did, use. He also talked about a police shield that had belonged to a man who lost his life saving others in the Twin Towers. He said that he received the shield from the man#8217;s mom, which also helps to personify each individual family#8217;s loss. Another great use of pathos is Bush#8217;s reference to advantages and disadvantages, children of different countries. Children conjure up thoughts of innocence, which is well used in his quote: #8220;We will not forget South Korean children gathering to pray outside our embassy in Seoul, or the prayers of sympathy offered at a mosque in Cairo.#8221; Not only is question, this pathos, but it#8217;s also a great appeasement made on Bush#8217;s part. By mentioning the Muslims in a positive light, he is attempting to divert the anti-terrorist rage away from the Muslims as a whole, but rather at a specific group of radicals.

He does this many times throughout the speech. Anaphoras are another rhetorical strategy used by the President to get his point across. George W. Bush seems fond of this strategy, as he uses it often, not only in dante topics this speech, but in others given by him. An anaphora is generally a good choice to employ, as it makes a line much more memorable. One memorable line from the President#8217;s speech was #8220;They hate our freedoms our freedom of application question religion, our freedom of speech, our freedom to vote and assemble and disagree with each other.#8221; This is also an example of tripartite structure, which is used effectively in Bush#8217;s message. Find A Thesis In A Narrative Essay! Tripartite structure is a useful way to assemble sentences in order to make them more powerful, and memorable. Phrases such as #8220;they follow in the path of fascism, and Nazism, and totalitarianism#8230;#8221; tend to stick in application question the audience#8217;s minds. Find In A! Tripartite structure is also evident in #8220;I will not yield; I will not rest; I will not relent in waging this struggle for freedom and security for the American people.#8221; This is application question, not only tripartite structure, but it is filled with charged words as well.

These charged words are the chicago turabian backbone of Bush#8217;s address to the nation. Statements like #8220;Our grief has turned to anger, and anger to resolution#8221; evoke strong feelings within each and application question every person. Essay And Disadvantages! Perhaps the most powerful of the President#8217;s assertions, however, is application, this: #8220;Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists.#8221; This, although it undoubtedly worked well at the time, is still under scrutiny today, and has landed the President in a number of tough situations. That sentence is also a good example of George W. Bush#8217;s tone. Part Essay! He is reverent and somber at times, and at others, full of fiery determination. Throughout the presentation, however, Bush stands resolute. He continually stresses the point of needing to #8220;bring our enemies to justice, or bring justice to our enemies#8230;#8221; which fits in with his urgently imperative tone. He makes known the great import of acting now, and makes it evident that over thinking and delay will bring failure to the country#8217;s quest for vengeance.

George W. Bush#8217;s use of rhetorical strategies is admirable, regardless of whether one agrees or disagrees with his politics. He uses an urgently imperative tone, combined with tripartite structure, anapharas, charged words, and pathos, to create a thought provoking and feeling evoking speech. Looking back, it is evident that Bush used his effective speech as a stepping stone into Afghanistan, and question later Iraq. The President even now continues to use rhetorical strategies in the debates against John Kerry, and only time will tell us the result of his efforts. University/College: University of California. Type of paper: Thesis/Dissertation Chapter. Date: 18 July 2016.

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Free Essays on What Are Your Special Talents And Skills. ? Talent vs Skill “ Talent ” and application “ skill ” are often used interchangeably in conversations and perceptions. B.com 1 English Essay. Both words pertain to the ability or potential of an individual to deal, work, and application question perform a particular task. Essay. However, their main difference is their point of origin. A talent is application defined by resources. The War for Talent: Attracting, Developing and Retaining Highly Talented Managers. The War for Talent Attracting, developing and retaining highly talented managers Ed Michaels, Helen Handfield-Jones and how to find a thesis essay Beth Axelrod Harvard Business School Press ISBN 1-57581-459-2 The war for talent In the late nineties a lot of organizations had vacancies they couldn’t fill.

Even after the. ? Talent Management A talent is a special skill or ability a person/employee has. Question. It enables them to act quicker and be more efficient. Those people are needed for special tasks and how to a thesis in a narrative essay mostly work in a leading position. There are several reasons why talent management is needed in a successful business. Practice vs. Talent in Piano Playing. Practice vs.

Talent in question Piano Playing The phrase practice makes perfect is phones and disadvantages such a cliche nowadays. Application Question. One can hear it everywhere and every time in his everyday life. Dante Alighieri Essay. But, does it really make all things perfect? Is practice a necessity to be good at a certain thing? How about talent ? We obviously all. What are Transferable Skills ? We all have “learned” abilities and “natural” abilities. Learned abilities are our skills and natural abilities are our talents . Question. So what are Transferable skills or job-related skills ? Simply put, transferable skills are the dante essay skills and abilities you have acquired during. personality, and an organized well balanced lifestyle.

Its seems as though becoming a writer only requires a special talent and drive, but behind every gift there is application question a well understanding of what it truly holds. Although only a minimum of a college degree is confined when becoming a writer, for dante alighieri essay topics, most companies. Leadership and the Impact of Acquiring Talent on Organizations In today’s global market, having the right competencies to lead organizations is essential in business. Understanding what critical competencies are required to application drive overall success in an organization is a key component to its strategy. relationships.

In review of Satterlee’s Organizational Management Leadership, Human Skills are noted as the second fundamental characteristic that a manager needs to possess besides Technical and b.com part 1 english essay Conceptual Skills . Human Skills are needed so that communication can be delivered and application question received effectively with. leaders do not necessarily possess any more positive traits than anyone else. Effective leaders do, however, develop and essay on mobile phones advantages and disadvantages practice certain behavioral skills that contribute to their success. Rather than relying on personality traits, leaders should work to develop their relationships with followers, peers. SHRM Splash Screen: SHRM Splash Screen Investing in question Your Future as an dante alighieri topics HR Leader Research Publications Education Copyright 2005 by application question, the SHRM Foundation All rights reserved. No part of annotated bibliography turabian this production may be reproduced or transmitted without permission from the SHRM Foundation. Title Page: Title Page. Talent Management Strategy Alicia Cann Dr.

Zelphia Brown, SPHR HRM532- Talent Management 5/12/13 Formulate a talent management strategy to encompass the entire talent requirements of the question organization. Topics For Leaves Of Grass. When discussing and planning your organization’s future, it’s important to. The differences of family education between China and application America. [Abstract] The family education is related to a person''s life. Nowadays, social development needs high qualified talents and good family education is the key point to the high qualified talents . Find In A Narrative Essay. Because of the different social systems, culture backgrounds, education aims and question so on, family education for.

successfully, an online class craigslist individual must be able to application perform eachessential duty satisfactorily. The requirements listed below are representativeof the knowledge, skill , and/or ability required. Reasonable accommodations maybe made to enable individuals with disabilities to b.com part 1 english essay perform the essentialfunctions. Education. ? Spotting Talent questions 1,2,and 5 Eliodoro Jacobo DeVry University MGMT 303 Richard Smith 4/4/2015 Spotting Talent Question 1) what does this case imply about the question supply of and demand for employees and the implications for businesses? What I can say based of this case is how to find a thesis in a that the application question supply. Opportunity Gets You Further Than Natural Talent “ Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of part 1 english essay hard work.” ? Stephen King. Question. Hard work and dedication is what will get you to the top. A person can have all the talents in the world but that can only. ? TALENT MANAGEMENT IN RECESSION INTRODUCTION Talent management is an class help craigslist idea that has been around for a long time.

It’s been re-labelled, and application question that enables wise organization to review what they are doing. Style. It integrates some old ideas and gives them a-freshness, and that is good (David Guest p. 29, 2006). Sixth Sense - What Does the Term Clairvoyance Mean and What Does It Involve? CLAIRVOYANCE 1. What Does the Term Clairvoyance Mean and What Does It Involve? We predict the future all the time, but we usually, if not always, do it by taking into account our experience, knowledge, and surroundings.

Some predictions by psychics come true. So do some predictions by non-psychics. Do Gifted and Talented Students Need Special Schools? Running Head: POSITION PAPER Take Your Side Position Paper Do Gifted and application question Talented Students Need Special Schools? Justin Sweeney MS.Ed Duquesne University 7-18-13 For years there has been an ongoing debate regarding the best kinds of programs. us all. You can improve your public speaking skills quite easily by following the beginning tips mentioned before you start speaking.Remember to how to find be prepared and get your practice. Application. The value of 1 english preparation can never be overemphasized. It adds confidence and substance to your speeches and presentations. Working as a Special Agent, there are several responsibilities and application areas one can work in.

Also being an agent, your pay can be good but it comes with the price of having a high stress level due to the work environment. As stated earlier there are multiple duties being an agent and one of those is how to a thesis serving. Sustainable Talent Management In order for organizations to meet the growing demands of business sustainability and maintain a competitive advantage over application question the competition, businesses are encouraged to take a hard look at their talent pool (Urlaub, 2011). This process aims to essay and disadvantages retain employees. will you have said more than you’ve done? 5 What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? 6 If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? 7 Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? 8 If the average human life. Resources Date: 03/15/2009 Re: Career Development Plan Summary Kudler Fine Food (KFF) started in California with one gourmet grocery store to serve special customers searching for the finest selection of question meats, products, cheese and b.com essay wine.

Following her successful start on La Jolla store Back on 1998, Kathy. Business Plan-the Entrepreneurial Decision Process. successful entrepreneurs are in-burn nature, not something that can be made. But, some people disagree, they say that good entrepreneurship is a talent or a skill that can be learned and nurtured. The entrepreneurship and question innovation are the central to the creative process in the economy and to promoting.

Retaining Staff through Talent Management. Staff through Talent Management Introduction Retaining skilled or talented staff can be the basis of developing real competitive advantage in your markets; it can also be a complete waste of management effort if your market strategy is not based on the use of rare or scarce skills and topics is simply. management talent an MBA will further my personal and career goals i believe my experience, qualifications, and goals show a strong possibility for application question, my success in business school My founding of propertiesng.com has been a great way to turabian style validate my skills and jump start my career. i have been. We all know that talent is an inborn quality, and then there is application question something called acquired skill which is learned. It isn't solely about how naturally gifted or how many hours of practice a person invests in honing his or her skills to succeed. I agree with the author of The 10,000- . Explain Why Play Is Important to the Holistic Development of the Young Child.

Explain How and Why Children’s Play Changes over the First Six Years of Life. Include Examples to Support Your Ex. of Life. Include Examples to Support Your Explanation. In: Other Topics Explain Why Play Is Important to the Holistic Development of the Young Child. Explain How and essay for leaves of grass Why Children’s Play Changes over the First Six Years of Life.

Include Examples to Support Your Explanation. Explain why play is. Prevention Skills to Reduce School and application Community Violence. Program to teach prevention skills to reduce school and community violence. Mission Statement: To Support, Empower, and craigslist Educate (SEE) at – risk adolescents, youth, and their families on violence prevention.

Do you see what I SEE? Violence affects everyone. Application. Do you know what SEE? Violence Prevention. What is topics Hyperactivity You're not paying attention. Don't you know where you put your lunch money? Stop fidgeting! Don't interrupt. Question. Can you imagine what it would be like to hear people talk to you this way every single day? If you can imagine it, or if it sounds just like what you're used to. Perception of IT professionals on Soft skills and how to improve it Speech and language are tools that humans use to communicate or share thoughts, ideas and bibliography chicago style emotions.

Language is the set of rules shared by the individuals who are communicating. So without a language you are almost as equal as stranded. ?Chelsea Barrentine Mrs. Byrd ENGL 1101 11 February 2015 Have you ever been told your child won’t ever be able to walk, talk, or live past a certain age? Well, my family has.

On this chilly day, November 19, 2008, my little sister, Taylor, was born. She was born with a chromosome deletion which. What it means to be an application question HR Professional. Hr - Descriptive Titile Introduction This report will aim to evaluate and explain what it means to be an alighieri essay HR Professional with using the CIPD HR Professional Map (HRPM) as the application basis for the evaluation. A - Briefly explain how the CIPD HR Professional map defines the HR profession, including gthe.

Talent management within Human Resources Department of NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde. ? Talent management within Human Resources Department of NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde 10th May 2013 Word Count: 1542 EXECUTIVE SUMMARY The NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde workforce is its main asset as it is the turabian employees who deliver the care and support for the patients. 697 Week 6 Final Paper (Ash) For more course tutorials visit www.ese697.com Final Paper Throughout the application course, you have been demonstrating your understanding of bibliography turabian differentiation and lesson planning for question, children with mild and moderate disabilities through the annotated bibliography turabian design of lesson plans in various. Never underestimate your problem or your ability to deal with it. Robert H. Schuller What are challenges? Challenges are tasks that require subject expertise, creativity and focus. What motivates a person to take up a challenging job? Challenges are necessary in question order to grow as individuals; they. Talent acquisition is a term used to online help craigslist talk about the application process of phones advantages finding, attracting, or otherwise acquiring talented people to application question work for a company, as well as the steps taken to retain them as employees. Online. Since many companies rely on their employees for success, this aspect of business is extremely important. Learning Team Skills (2nd Edition) - Bell, Arthur H.

LEARNING TEAM SKILLS Second Edition Arthur H. Bell, Ph.D. School of Business and question Professional Studies University of San Francisco Dayle M. Smith, Ph.D. School of Business and Professional Studies University of San Francisco Dedication We dedicate this book with love to alighieri essay our children, Arthur. 2. Compare and contrast your life experiences with those of Cameron Herold in the video “Educating Young Entrepreneurs” - TED Talk by question, Cameron Herold. Maslow’s Hierarchy of in a narrative Needs (Wood, 2013, pp. Application. 9-14) Student Name: TYNESHA MOSES Part 1: Define and describe each stage of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Your discussion of each need should be approximately one paragraph in length.

1. Physiological needs for survival Masow – wanted us to communication with. Pre-Reading SkillsPre-reading skills are the skills children need in order to help them to become a reader. Many of on mobile phones advantages and disadvantages these skills are learnt naturally, during the course of a normal childhood, at question, home and in the nursery/preschool environment. By talking and reading with your child, you will be doing a great. 50 Ways to Bring Out Your Child's Best. labeled as gifted. In fact, he had trouble with math in school. The definition of the gifted child has traditionally been based on school-related skills and limited to the upper 5 to 10 percent of children who achieve high test scores, write well and excel academically.

These are certainly important. Describe Your Schoolmates and how to narrative Whom You Like Best. Describe your schoolmates and whom you like best. I have many schoolmates, but Tom is the one I like best of all. He is the biggest boy in class. He is about fourteen years old, his shoulders are broad. He is good as one can see when he smiles. I already know several of my classmates. Another one. three traits is what its all about on application question, becoming successful in dante topics everything you do in life.

The first step on becoming successful in college and in life is application planning. Basically a strategic plan which is a road map for online, success. You should create a mission statement which is basically stating your overall dreams. Leadership Development and Succession Planning. This paper demonstrates the need for leadership development and succession planning within today’s corporations. It argues what method is best for leadership training, and application question cites examples of several corporations that embrace both leadership development and succession planning. Part. Leadership Development. English Language Learners in Special Education. English Language Learners in Special Education: How They Learn and How to Teach Them By Jackie Moore How Should Students Learn?

Unfortunately in our public school systems today, we do not have a clear program or even a concept of what type of classroom English Language Learners (ELL) need to be. Question 1 What are the challenges or potential pitfalls in this situation? Answer The situation is kind of hostile because the members in the interview board have conflicting idea with each other. Question. The also has question of the need and competence of the other board members. Mr. Hussam the essay HR.

ASH ?ESE 697 Week 6 Reflective Journal. the largest international professional organization dedicated to improving the application question educational success of individuals with disabilities and/or gifts and talents . CEC advocates for appropriate governmental policies, sets professional standards, provides professional development, defends the rights of individuals. What problems do teenagers with Asperger’s syndrome face to achieve success in school and part 1 english how can they be helped? ? What problems do teenagers with Asperger’s syndrome face to achieve success in school and how can they be helped? Introduction In a culture where being social and outgoing are prized above all else, it can be difficult, even shameful, to be different. For example if you have Asperger’s.

But Asperger’s. Kharkiv enabled me :) I have a lot of skills . Question. One is I'm very athletic. For Leaves. I love sports whether I'm watching them or playing them. I am also a very determined, and hardworking kind of person, I know what I want and I try my hardest to get it. Another special skill that I have is that I am a very cheerful. Every Child Is Special Movie Reflection. movie “Every child is special ” Ishaan Awasthi is not an ordinary student.

He has a very wild and application question creative imagination that brings him to different worlds, to worlds unknown to his classmates, teachers and family. He usually plays and does things on his own, he has his own special perception on b.com 1 english essay, things. Are you building a future ready workforce. Impatient Millenials ? Creating the Future Ready Work Place ? Talent Strategies to Build a Future Ready Workforce ? Industry Case Study ? The future of Banking Future Workforce Challenges A CEO’s PERSPECTIVE What CEOs think. . ? There are increasingly younger employees, a . Management. A management position can have several titles, such as supervisor or leader. Being a member of a management team requires a wide range of skills . The jobs a manager or leader must do will vary depending on the place of employment. People tend to think that a good manager is application a person who is.

Do Foreign Talents Have a Positive Impact on Your Society? to look for alternatives, which it sees in b.com part essay foreign talent . Foreign talent refers to people with high qualifications, experience, highly paid, able in various fields, for example, music, sports, enterprise. Application. Although the recruitment of foreign talent does have its demerits, these are outweighed by on mobile phones and disadvantages, the. successful? Yes, because I had set some goals then on which I had already met some and right now I’m already on application question, the track to achieve the essay on mobile and disadvantages others.

What kind of salary do you need? My expectations regarding salary are always open based upon the position and the over question all compensation package for the. will employ to measure employee talent . As I review the chapters, and think about the process that would be best to measure employee talent , I believe that my favorite would be the 360 performance management process. So I will employ this one to measure employee talent for this assignment. It is known. An Innovative Approach to Strategic Talent Management in essay topics the Cloud Finding and Retaining the application Best People ManpowerGroup’s ninth annual T alent Shortage Survey found that 54 percent of employers reporting a talent shortage say it is having a significant impact on class craigslist, their ability to question meet client needs. disciplining employees in order to achieve organizational goals efficiently and for leaves effectively. Question. b. the designing of organizational systems to ensure that human talent is used effectively and efficiently to accomplish organizational goals. c. the efficient and effective use and coordination of b.com essay human capital to ensure. creativity is knowing how to application hide your sources”. Everything that the world knows today has been built on previous ideas. That is the beauty of essay creativity. Application. Anyone with creativity can turn something common into something special . In that sense, Einstein has revealed what creativity is all about.

However. ESE 697 ASH Course Tutorial/UOPHELP. Standards (CCSS). Your first lesson plan will focus on using effective, research-based strategies for teaching reading comprehension to students with disabilities. For this lesson, you may plan for your choice of grade level, type of classroom, and disability areas.

You may use your own classroom, or. What is a Graphic Designer A graphic designer has the annotated passion, talent , and skills to convey, through visual art, the question message his or her client needs to present. There is a wide spectrum of positions in essay on mobile advantages this field: someone who is focused on producing artwork for the sake of application art, an artist who.